When you’ve been with your partner for a while, it’s easy to assume you know everything there is to know about them. After all, you’ve spent countless nights recounting your dreams, fears, childhood memories, embarrassing moments, favorite sandwich toppings, weirdest habits, and all the other important stuff.. What’s more, you’ve made incredible memories and been by each other’s side through all of the highs and lows. You get each other.
But curiosity is a hallmark of healthy relationships. And despite how much you think you know your significant other, there’s always more to learn. You just need to ask the right questions, which is why it helps to have a series of interesting and provocative conversation starters designed to do just that. The more you talk to each other about the way you think, the more you bond, which increases trust and vulnerability. Win-win. Plus, it’s a fun departure from the typical night of TikTok scrolling and Office reruns.
So, if you’re looking for a fun way to vary your conversation topics or simply understand your partner better, here are some interesting questions for couples. Ask a few whenever the moment strikes. Just be willing to answer them honestly (It sort of defeats the purpose if either of you just shrug and say, “I dunno”). And remember: The best kind of conversation starters are the ones where you’re genuinely curious and interested in their answer.
General Questions For Couples
These conversation starters will help you learn more about their interests and whatever’s currently taking up their mental real estate.
- What podcasts are you listening to at the moment?
- What’s the most interesting fact you’ve recently learned about?
- What’s your favorite thing to eat for lunch?
- What’s the most unexpected thing that’s happened to you lately?
- What do you like most about your job?
- What’s your least favorite thing about your job?
- If you could do one thing everyday that would make you happy, what would it be?
- What’s the last interesting article you read?
- What’s giving you anxiety right now?
- If we could go anywhere for the weekend where would you like to go?
- When you’re having a bad day, what memory makes you feel better?
- What made you smile recently?
- What joke always makes you laugh?
- What’s your current favorite song?
- What are you grateful for right now?
Relationship Questions For Couples
It’s healthy to learn about the narratives that have made up your partner’s outlook on the world and yes, that includes exes. Their ex-partners are an important part of their history and telling of their relationship patterns. If you haven’t had time to get into their past, there’s no better time than the present.
- What’s the biggest lesson you learned from a previous partner?
- Who was your first love?
- Have you ever cheated or been cheated on?
- How do you think your parents influenced your view on relationships today?
- How would you like your relationship to be with your parents?
- What was it like for you to fall in love for the first time?
- What was your hardest heartbreak like?
- Did any movies or TV shows shape your outlook on relationships?
- What did you learn from your grandparent’s relationship?
- What’s a relationship that you idolize? Why?
Romantic Questions For Couples
For when you’re wanting to learn more about your relationship in your partner’s own words. These questions will help spark intimacy and increase self-disclosure on what you think and feel about the relationship.
- What do you think love means?
- Do you believe in soulmates?
- What’s your love language?
- What does commitment mean to you?
- What do you think are the three most important factors for a successful relationship?
- What’s a deal-breaker for you in a relationship?
- What’s a non-negotiable for you in a relationship?
- What made you fall in love with me?
- What do I do that makes you happy you married me?
- What’s your favorite memory of us? Why?
- What’s your favorite picture of us? Why?
- What does your ideal romantic life look like in the future?
Sex Questions For Couples
Being able to talk about sex openly and honestly is fundamental to successful relationships. These questions are exploratory and less confrontational, perfect for pillow talk.
- What’s your secret sex fantasy?
- What’s your favorite steamy memory of us?
- If you could try out one new kink, what would it be?
- Do you like using sex toys or would you like to try them?
- How do you view desire and sex?
- What’s your ideal frequency for sex?
- What kind of porn do you like to watch?
- What does it mean for someone to be good in bed?
- What’s your biggest turn-on?
- Do you have a favorite sex position?
- What do you think about when you masturbate?
- Is there anything new you want to try in bed?
- Would you ever want to have a threesome?
- What’s your favorite sex memory of us?
- Would you prefer to have only morning sex or only night sex?
Deep Questions For Couples
If you’re looking to break past the surface and get into the nitty-gritty, look no further. From society to death to your greatest fears, these conversation starters cover a lot of ground.
- Do you believe in aliens?
- What do you think is the meaning of life?
- How have your past experiences shaped you as a person?
- What is one of your loveliest, cherished memories?
- What’s one of your most painful memories?
- What do you think happens after death?
- If you have any regrets, what’s your biggest one?
- What do you value the most in a connection with your loved ones?
- How would you describe yourself to a stranger?
- What qualities do you value the most about yourself?
- What’s something you want to ask me but might be afraid to ask?
- What would you fix about society?
- What motivates you to work hard?
- What’s your biggest fear?
- What’s your greatest dream you hope to accomplish?
- What quote do you live by in life?
Fun Questions For Couples
Conversation starters don’t always have to be so serious and thought-provoking. These talks can be light-hearted and relaxed. Use the questions below to bring out some chuckles and tease out any hidden eccentricities about your partner.
- What childhood nickname did you have?
- What was your favorite book growing up?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- What was your favorite childhood meal?
- If you had to be on a reality show, which one would you be on?
- What role would you play during a zombie apocalypse?
- What’s something surprising I don’t know about you?
- What’s the weirdest habit you do at home when you’re alone?
- What does your perfect day look like?
- What’s the latest item you added to your bucket list?
So there you have it. Whether you’re looking to learn more about your partner or just interested in having a different conversation on date night, these questions can help.
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