50 Pieces Of Marriage Advice From Couples Who’ve Been Together 25+ Years

Marriage advice is easy to ignore until you need it. Who hasn’t rolled their eyes at such well-meaning but trite aphorisms as “Say sorry even if you don’t mean it” or “Don’t go to bed angry”? These phrases tend to spill out of people’s mouths around weddings and anniversaries but are barely helpful. True, lived-in advice for a long, happy marriage isn’t so tidy because neither are relationships.

So, what is some honest, authentic marriage advice from couples who’ve been through the long haul? We recently asked 25 people who have been married for 25 plus years about what makes their relationship work. Clichés didn’t enter the equation. Instead, their answers reflected a simple truth: Long-term relationships are both easy and hard, made better by honesty, fun, and a shared sense of unity.

They urged communication and clarity. They underscored the importance of shared meals and spicing things up with jokes. They emphasized appreciation and attention to detail. Here’s what’s helped them stay together for the long run.

1. Accept and Allow

“This is a mantra I picked up early on in our marriage, and it’s one my husband and I have come to live by. I forget where I heard it, but it’s basically a nice way of saying, ‘You knew who your partner was when you got married, and you can’t change them.’ There were many things I wished I could change about my husband after we’d been married for a little while. But I realized I loved him, and it was a waste of time to dwell on them. I needed to accept him for who he was, and allow him to be himself. That doesn’t mean we can’t get upset, or voice concerns. It just means that we’re committed unconditionally to the person we married, even when they drive us crazy.” — Lynne, 62, Florida (married 31 years)

2. Imagine Life Without Your Partner

“My wife and I talk about this all the time. We imagine what our toughest days would be like without each other. Truthfully, we always agree that we’d make it through. Realistically, we’re each independent and strong enough that we’d be fine. But, it would be terrible. That’s the takeaway: Life would be possible without each other, but it wouldn’t be anywhere near as fun, special, or full of great moments. It’s not uncommon for us to ask each other, ‘Can you imagine if I wasn’t here?’ The answer is usually some variation of, ‘Yeah. It would suck. I’m glad you are.’” — Jerry, 56, Maryland (married 30 years)

3. Crack Jokes

“We got married when we were both almost 40, and our sense of humor has gotten more juvenile every year. Maybe it’s just us, but I don’t think so. We laugh at rude noises. We roll our eyes at each other’s terrible jokes. We love raunchy movies. It’s just that primitive, human sense of humor we both have. So many couples seem to lose that the longer they stay married. There’s this weird pressure to become more civilized or dignified as you get older. We never got that memo, it seems. And when it’s just the two of us, we’re usually cracking up. We’ve stayed in love so long because we’re too busy laughing to be fighting.” — David, 68, Michigan (married 30 years)

4. Give The Best of Yourself To Your Spouse

“During the busy years of raising kids, working full time, and running a household, I was often spent at the end of each day. I had no energy left for any kind of meaningful connection with my partner. But then I heard some advice about offering the best of yourself to your spouse, not just the leftovers. I realized the importance of carving out time together when I could devote my full attention and energy to my spouse. This mindset gave me permission to hire a babysitter for a night out or to leave a household chore for later to do the important work of maintaining our relationship.” — Amy, 50, Kansas (married 27 years)

5. Quit Being So Stubborn

“Don’t insist on always having the last word. It’s never not worth it. What you think is a fundamental, bedrock principle might actually be just a personal preference not worth having a spat or holding a grudge about. Be open to that possibility. Even if you get your way, it will take a toll. And if you agree to something, abide by the mutual decision. The loss of trust is also not worth getting your way. We’ve learned to be responsible for and take ownership of our decisions and actions, and we always try to avoid criticizing or guilting. It never helps. Instead, we try to have constructive conversations about specific behaviors that might be troubling, and we’re each willing to listen to each other’s concerns — even if they seem trivial.” — Claude, 68 (married 33 years)

6. You Won’t Always Be on the Same Page

“And that’s okay. Patience and communication are key to any successful relationship, but especially a long-term one. It’s important to remember that you’re not always going to agree about everything. There will be times when you need to listen more than you talk, and times when you need to communicate openly and honestly. You can do this by making time for each other, even when life gets busy. Whether it’s taking a walk after dinner or spending a weekend away together, do everything you can to keep the bond strong.” — Steve, 49, Arizona (married 26 years)

7. Bite Your Tongue

“My rule is: Bite your tongue for at least 24 to 48 hours after before speaking when tensions are high. If you are overly emotional and/or upset about something, doing so gives you time to cool off and then reflect on the situation with greater space, perspective, calmness, and clarity. If you still want to talk about it, schedule a mutually agreed upon time to do so. Say something like, ‘I am upset about what you just said/did, but I want to think about it before we talk.’ Mentally, you’ll be in a much better place.” — Romy, 52, California (married 26 years)

8. You Don’t Love Have To Love Everything They Do

“I don’t love gardening. In fact, I find it quite boring. But my husband loves it, and even though we don’t garden together, I make it a point to be supportive and engaged. By letting him know I appreciate how it makes our yard look and how much I enjoy eating what he harvests, he can take pride in his work. And even though it’s not my thing, I attend a home and garden expo with him every year because it’s fun to watch him in his element with people who are also enthusiastic about something he loves. — Katelyn, 60, Iowa (married 27 years)

9. Choose Your Own Adventure

“My marriage has never been easy but it’s always been an adventure. Best advice I can give — getting married is like going to a theme park. Know who you are and what ride you want to go on. If you want to go on the carousel (stability and serenity) marry that. If you want to go on the roller coaster (risk and adventure) don’t marry someone who’s afraid of speed and heights. The key is to know yourself and what you want before you pledge yourself to a partnership. Then, once you’ve found your match, run your marriage like a good company. Identify each person’s strengths and weaknesses, and delegate those responsibilities accordingly.” — Kathleen, 57, Nebraska (married 31 years)

10. Do the Work

“Everyone has heard the phrase, ‘opposites attract’, but you don’t really hear the phrase, ‘opposites keep people together.’ They can, though, if you learn how to navigate them. Opposites can create a great deal of conflict over time if you don’t learn how to accept them. It can be a difficult process, but it’s necessary to stay happily married long term. Good marriages don’t just happen. They require a great deal of work and intention. The English language has one word for love. I love my wife and I love spicy food. There is no comparison. Since the term ‘I love you’ is so confusing and vague it makes sense to define what that means to both of you, even if you’re total opposites.” — Monte, 64, Florida (married 40 years)

11. Make Physical Picture Books

“In this digital era, we take more pictures than ever, but they just end up stuck on our devices. Make a physical picture book and set it somewhere it will be seen regularly. Every time you flip through it, it’s a reminder of the memories you and your spouse have made and how much the two of you have grown.” — Jerry, 59, Wisconsin (married 34 years)

12. Keep Each Other Guessing

“My husband is a quiet man. Me? Not so much. I was surprised when he told me how much he loves the fact that he never knows what I’m going to do from one minute to the next. And I appreciate his willingness to try different things. As our unofficial ‘social secretary,’ I’ve planned trips where he hasn’t really known where we’re going until we get on the plane. Our secret really is just keeping our life interesting. Otherwise, life becomes stale and boring. Do something unexpected from time to time and you’ll learn how much you cherish each other’s company.” — Carol, 72, Georgia (married 49 years)

13. Ask for Space When You Need It

“I think many couples are afraid to say, ‘Hey, I need some time alone, away from you.’ They worry that their partner will take it personally, and so they avoid the conversation completely. Early in our courtship, we were very clear with each other about the fact that we wouldn’t survive marriage if we couldn’t each have our own space. So, we’re not shy with each other when we need a breather. Sometimes it’s just a few hours with a good book. Other times, one of us wants to get a coffee and run errands on a Saturday. The key is being respectful about the request, considering any commitments you might have, and using that time to recharge yourself for the betterment of the relationship.” — Curt, 64, South Carolina (married for 36 years)

14. Learn Each Other’s Love Language

“Any act of love done with the best intentions is good, but knowing how your partner prefers to receive those gestures can make them much more special. My wife’s two love languages are quality time and acts of service. Over the course of our marriage, I’ve learned how happy it makes her when I help out around the house. Simple things, like unloading the dishwasher or flipping the laundry, make her so happy. And because I pitch in, and we work as a team, we’re able to spend more quality time together. You can take the tests and stuff to figure out what each other’s love language is. That’s easy. The more fun part is finding out how you can try to speak to your partner using them every day.” — Gene, 54, Massachusetts (married 28 years)

15. Always Kiss Goodnight

“In all of our years of marriage, I think there have been maybe a dozen times my husband and I haven’t kissed each other goodnight. Even when we’ve had terrible, terrible arguments, we always kiss each other on the cheek, or the forehead, just as a way to remind each other that we’ll get through this. When you don’t want to talk to someone because you’re so angry, it can be hard to say, ‘I love you.’ Sometimes, you just don’t have the voice. But a quick kiss can say a lot, and for us it has.” — Renee, 60, Texas (married 31 years)

16. Never Assume

“If your partner is upset with you, don’t assume you know why. If he’s quiet or down, don’t assume you know why. If you’re upset, don’t assume he knows why. You have to remember that, no matter how connected you both may be, you’re not mind-readers. You need to communicate as clearly as possible, and as frequently as possible. Give each other permission to say you’d rather wait to talk about things, but always let your partner know that you don’t want to assume you know what’s going on.” — Christine, 51, Connecticut (married 26 years)

17. Walk Together

“For whatever reason, walking together really loosens up conversation. Something about movement helps the words flow more freely. Now that we are both retired, my husband and I are morning walkers, which helps us start each day feeling connected. But when we were still working, the after-dinner walks were a great time to rehash the past day and game-plan whatever was next on the horizon.” —Joy, 68, Oregon (married 27 years)

18. Nurture the Friendship

“Remember that your partner is also your friend. Not every conversation you have should be about life decisions, finances, or being married. I love my marital relationship with my wife, but I’d dare say I love our friendship more. When we get to spend time together ‘as friends’, we laugh, we joke, and we remember why we’re such a good team. And that helps with our marriage. You wouldn’t want to be on a team without any friends, would you? A marriage is the same idea, and it’s for the rest of your lives. Make sure you always try to make time for that one-of-a-kind friendship.” — William, 57, Colorado (married 30 years)

19. Talk Every Day

“Even if it’s just a hello in the morning, or a goodnight before bed. Or a text or email to say hi. Don’t ever let a day go by that you don’t talk to your spouse. For me, even on our worst days, hearing my husband’s voice is a reassurance. I know he feels the same way. We might not want to speak to each other, but we know that we’re still committed to each other, and we’ll get past whatever spat we’re facing. For both of us, silence is not an option. And because of that, we find our way back to each other every time.” — Leanne, 49, Nevada (married 25 years)

20. Be Patient With Your Spouse — and Yourself

“You need to be flexible in a marriage. You need to understand that, if you and your partner truly love each other, you’re not deliberately trying to make things difficult. But, inevitably, there will come times when you just can’t agree. In those times, you need to remember that you both are only human. We used to get upset with each other, and then beat ourselves up pretty badly because we’d think, ‘I should be better at this…’ And our marriage suffered. It wasn’t until we were able to extend grace to ourselves and each other, and remind ourselves that we are both still learning how to be better every day that we really grew as a couple.” — Ray, 47, New York (married 25 years)

21. Have Your Own Hobbies

“One of the things my wife and I love about each other is our respective passions. She’s an amazing painter, and I love making and building things. She has a room downstairs where she goes and paints for hours at a time, and I’m always so excited for her to open the door and invite me in to see what she’s created. She feels the same way when I come in from the garage with a newly stained chair, or a birdhouse, or something that I’ve been working on. We love talking to each other about our passions, and they give us so many chances to support each other as husband and wife.” — John, 55, New York (married 35 years)

22. Don’t Look for Flaws

“If you actively look for flaws in your partner, you’ll find them. Because no one is perfect, and they are definitely there. Why would anyone want to look for flaws, right? Well, we both found ourselves doing that during some rough patches in our marriage. It was almost like we were playing ‘gotcha!’ with each other, trying to prove each other wrong. It took a while to figure out, but we realized that we needed to work together against whatever problem we were facing, instead of using it as an excuse to work against each other. It wasn’t an easy lesson, but it’s probably the most important one we’ve ever learned for the sake of our marriage.” — Bryan, 48, Indiana (married 26 years)

23. Stay Intimate

“Intimacy is more than physical. And, as you get older, that’s a great thing to realize. It’s holding each other’s hands. It’s making sure to give each other a kiss before you leave in the morning and as soon as you get home at night. It’s turning off your phones for a night, and just enjoying each other’s company. Physically, we’re not where we used to be. We still make love, but I think we both agree that the intimacy we strive for takes place more outside of the bedroom than in it. And it’s kept us very much in love for a long time.” — Natalie, 60, North Carolina (married 35 years)

24. Eat Together

“It sounds like a given, but both my wife and I came from families that never sat down to eat together. When we started dating, we realized that sharing a meal was — and still is — our favorite thing to do. Breakfast is kind of rushed, and we’re both at work for lunch, but we rarely schedule anything that would disrupt our dinner plans. Even if it’s just crappy take out, and we’ve each still got a lot to do that evening, we commit to sitting down, eating, and enjoying each other’s company for those 20 minutes. It’s a special time for us that’s become the highlight of our days and, for me, our marriage.” — Peter, 56, Georgia (married for 27 years)

21. Show Gratitude

“My husband and I are ‘overthankers’. That’s what we call it. We always go overboard when we show appreciation to someone who’s done something nice for us. And that’s because we both sincerely appreciate a genuine ‘Thank You’. That’s why we make sure, no matter how small or large the gesture, to say it to each other whenever we can. Sometimes it’s obvious, like if one of us gets the other one a gift. Other times, it could be, ‘Thank you for taking the garbage out last night. I appreciate it.’ My husband has taken the garbage out every week for almost 35 years, and I always remember to say, ‘Thank you.’ It’s a small gesture, but we both appreciate it every time.” — Robin, 60, Arizona (married 34 years)

22. Learn How to Apologize

“You have to remember that there are many reasons to apologize. You can apologize for something you did or didn’t do. You can apologize for something you said or didn’t say. You can apologize just for the sake of wanting to end a disagreement and move on. Apologizing doesn’t necessarily mean you concede or believe what you did was wrong. It means that the situation resulted in something — like hurt feelings or miscommunications — that made your partner feel bad. And that’s the last thing you want to see when you love someone. Not every argument is going to end with one person being right and the other person being wrong. Putting aside that ego so that you can move on and grow stronger is much more important, we think.” — Robert, 63, Michigan (Married 33 years)

23. Communicate Your Needs

“Otherwise, your partner will be guessing. Or, even worse, your partner will be fretting over the fact that he or she doesn’t know what you’re thinking. My wife and I can both be catastrophic thinkers. If she’s upset about something but doesn’t tell me what it is, I immediately think it’s something I’ve done. And vice versa. And more often than not, it’s something that has nothing to do with me or us. But the mind can play tricks on you and make you start to wonder. You and your partner will thrive as a couple if you can communicate what’s going on as clearly as possible so that, instead of wondering, you can be present for each other and there to offer support.” — Richard, 70, Ohio (married 40 years)

24. Don’t Keep Score

“If you start looking at your marriage like a point system, you’re never going to be happy. When we were younger, we would constantly bicker about shared responsibilities. One of us would feel like we did more housework one week, while the other one would feel like they worked longer hours. Or one of us would feel like we didn’t get enough credit for doing X, Y, and Z, while the other didn’t feel enough appreciation for A, B, and C. It was a lose/lose situation. It wasn’t until we realized that we were both working hard to create a good life and a happy household that we stopped nitpicking. Instead, we just helped each other when we could, and did our best to be partners on the same team.” — Alyce, 71 (married 39 years)

25. Choose Your Stress

“This is great marriage advice and, really, great life advice. You can only handle so much stress in one day, as an individual and as part of a family. As we’ve both gotten older, we’ve realized that we’re more capable of choosing what we want to stress over, and that’s what we do. What might have seemed like a huge deal 20 years ago — an annoying neighbor, or unexpected car trouble, for example — has really been put into perspective by all we’ve gotten through together. If you can accept that you’ll have stressors in your life, you can train yourself to decide which ones you’ll let affect you and your marriage. And, more importantly, which ones you won’t.” — Karl, 57, Oregon (married 30 years)

26. Bring On The Friends

“I don’t have a ton of close friends, but my wife encourages me to spend time with them. Having those relationships makes me a better spouse because it keeps me out of my own head and kind of forces me into having fun on occasion, which is also something I’m not great at doing. I always come back from time with friends with a great appreciation for how my wife knows what I need, and it makes me want to be more attentive to ways I can encourage her.” — Brian, 74, Michigan (married 43 years)

27. Go on a One-Week Vacation, Just the Two of You

“Before kids, it will be easy and fun, but when kids come, it will get harder: Child care challenges, budget constraints, vacation limitations. Do it anyway. Here’s why. Because during the busyness of life, it's hard to find time for each other. Often, you're just trying to get through your days, making sure everyone gets where they need to be relatively on time and no one starves to death. There's no time for an adult conversation, let alone a date night. But when you leave that all behind for a week, you both get a chance to relax, to decompress. And after a few days, we would finally be ready to actually talk again, remember that we actually love this person we're doing life with, and ask questions like ‘Are we investing our lives in the right things?’ and ‘What are your hopes and dreams for the next year... five years?’ and ‘How can I love you better?’ We always return happier, healthier, and way better parents than when we left.” — Justin, 47, Oregon (married 25 years)

28. Trust Your Partner Is Doing Their Best

“This mindset helps you approach problems not with ‘you did something bad,’ but ‘how can we solve this problem?’ When my husband doesn’t come through, it’s not a sign that he doesn’t care, but more likely, he needs some assistance or a change in expectations. It took me some years to figure this out, but I’m much happier. And it became part of how we’ve raised our kids, too.” — Rachel, 55, Texas (married 30 years)

29. Respect Your Partner’s Past

“If you lose respect for your partner, the relationship will erode, leading to eventual failure. We have never asked about previous romances, nor do we care what went on before we were married, except to be grateful that we found each other at a time when both were single.” — Susan, 84, Alaska (married 58 years)

30. Have Financial Expectations That Work For You

“Early in our marriage, we experienced a lot of friction when trying to set and stick to a budget. We eventually added a discretionary budget category for each of us, which was an amount of money each month that each of us could spend without receiving any criticism from the other person. It helped keep us on the same page, but took out some of the most significant points of contention each month.” — Jessica, 55, Virginia (married 27 years)

31. Adopt a Common Parenting Philosophy

“I’m of the opinion that there are plenty of valid parenting philosophies out there, but that couples should adopt and utilize the same one. I was grasping for any kind of parenting lifeline when we had three kids under the age of six, and ended up grabbing a parenting book that helped our relationship because it gave us a common language to speak with our kids and helped us parent more consistently. This, in turn reduced the conflict between my husband and me and made life feel more doable.” — Levi, 49, Vermont (married 28 years)

32. Take Daytime Dates

“Going on dates is typically considered an evening activity, but day dates are magical. Schedule a day or two off from work each year, enjoy brunch together, and find a fun activity. That activity can even be grocery shopping, which is far more enjoyable when most people are at work! You get to enjoy the afterglow throughout the evening, and if your kids are in school, you can have a long date without breaking the bank on babysitting.” — Rodger, 47, Kansas (married 25 years)

33. Don’t Fear Silence

“There can be this temptation to fill every moment of silence, but it’s ok to appreciate quiet moments without feeling pressured to speak. You may find that in enjoying the silence, your conversation is more focused and meaningful. Granted, you’ll want to make sure both partners are on the same page so nobody feels like they are getting a cold shoulder.” — Beth, 88, Nebraska (married 67 years)

34. Put Down The Phones

“There came a point where we realized that dinner time was spent scrolling on our phones, reading things out loud to each other. While still interactive, it felt like we were diluting a time when we could connect more. We decided to put our phones away when eating meals together, which improved eye contact and conversation.” — Sarah, 64, Florida (married 36 years)

35. Know Your Unhealthy Stress Responses

“I get agitated when I’m stressed, whereas my wife tends to withdraw and become avoidant. Because her response is different than mine, it never occurred to me that some people power down instead of getting amped up in stressful situations. Identifying how you respond to stress can help you manage it and develop coping mechanisms so that your stress responses don’t have as much adverse effect on your spouse. And understanding your spouse’s stress responses can keep you from taking things personally when they are overwhelmed.” — Jen, 51, Georgia (married 26 years)

36. Ask This One Essential Question

“You might be surprised at the things you do that make your spouse feel loved. When I posed the question to my husband once, he responded that he felt loved when I made the bed in the morning because it made our living space feel orderly. That opened the door to paying attention to other little things I could do around the house to help him feel centered and cared for, which I wouldn’t have been aware of if I hadn’t asked the initial question. And it made me start to be more proactive in sharing things he does that make me feel loved.” — Mark, 63, Oregon (married 25 years)

37. Write Emails You’ll Never Send

“Sometimes you just need to get things out. And when they are words that will be hurtful or unconstructive, get them out and then fire them into the virtual abyss. Allowing your frustrations to fester can cause them to erupt in unhealthy ways, and there’s a catharsis in letting those negative feelings out in their most unedited form. Once that initial email has been deleted, you can often find a more helpful and diplomatic route to expressing your feelings.” — Galen, 48, Arizona (married 26 years)

38. Take Notes

“I find two types of journaling helpful in my marriage. The first is stream of consciousness journaling for a few minutes first thing in the morning, which helps me identify subconscious thoughts and feelings. The other is more pointed, where I try to focus my reflections on a specific interaction or part of my day. I don’t often share what I journal with my spouse, but I find that the work I do in private helps me to be more present in our interactions and it also helps me diffuse internal stressors that might make me a less considerate spouse.” — Eric, 54, Minnesota (married 30 years)

39. Keep Icebreakers In The Car

“Having a set of lighthearted questions handy will spur conversation on car rides and help you and your spouse explore topics you otherwise wouldn’t have delved into. Even random prompts like ‘If you had your own talk show, who would be your first guest?’ or ‘Would you rather never age mentally or physically?’ can give you potential insights into each other, even after you have been married for decades. And they provide brief opportunities to connect and focus on each other.” — Saleema, 56, New Jersey (married 25 years)

40. Manage A Joint Calendar

“When spouses get busy, they can easily lose touch with what the other person is up to. We used to have to sit down with written calendars at the beginning of every week to sync up our schedules, but now it’s much easier with online options. From a logistics standpoint, it helps us avoid becoming overscheduled or double-booked. And I appreciate when my husband takes into consideration my busier professional weeks and jumps in to help out a little more around the house to alleviate the pressure I feel to keep everything tidy and in order.” —DeVaughn, 51, Georgia (married 27 years)

41. Don’t Shy From Therapy

“One or both of us is almost always in therapy. Sometimes it’s couples therapy, and sometimes it’s individual therapy. It just depends on who needs what at any given time. Whether you are working on yourself or working through some things together, making sure that both partners feel the freedom to dedicate time and resources to therapy helps work through both the past experiences and current relationship dynamics that, when left unresolved, can tear a relationship apart.” — Melissa, 48, Texas (married 26 years)

42. Take Your Meals Outside

“Knock out two healthy relationship habits together by sharing a meal and touching grass. Picnics break up the monotony of meals and carry a certain romance. They are also a lot cheaper than going on a date to a restaurant, and once you reach your picnic spot, all you have to focus on is each other. Bang for my buck, I consider the one or two picnics my wife and I take each year as some of the best time we spend together.” — Bernard, 62, Colorado (married 32 years)

43. Share Seemingly Unreachable Aspirations

“Have brainstorming sessions where you talk about your most audacious vocational goals, dream vacations, future plans, and personal objectives. Few, if any, may actually come to fruition. But giving voice to those desires can help you and your spouse support each other better and look for unlikely opportunities to realize one or two of the items on your list. My wife and I have fun sharing those aspirations with each other, and even though we have experienced very few of them in full, they give us a window into each other’s ambitions and drives.” — Lydia, 56, Washington (married 25 years)

44. Mentor a Young Couple

“My husband and I were reticent when a much younger couple asked us to mentor them, because we didn’t feel like a model couple in the slightest, and the age difference meant our life experience was vastly different from theirs. But it ended up being great for our marriage because it gave us the opportunity to reflect on what has worked for us, what hasn’t, and what first made us fall in love with each other. The relationship also made us feel like some of the struggles we faced along the way could have some redemptive value if our experience could help others avoid similar pitfalls.” — Rita, 86, Michigan (married 67 years)

45. Hold Hands

“It’s perhaps the simplest romantic gesture, but one that can go such a long way. Just the physical act of reaching out signals to your spouse that you know they are there and you want to connect with them. There’s also something playful about holding hands that will remind you of your first days together when everything about the relationship was new and exciting.” — Maria, 54, Florida (married 27 years)

46. Find Fellow Parent Friends

“When we were in the throes of parenthood, making friends who were in the same stage of life helped strengthen my relationship with my wife. Being able to swap stories with other parents who were experiencing similar struggles helped normalize the absolutely confounding parenting moments we were having. It helped us feel like we weren’t struggling alone or in unique ways. As a result, we were able to be more patient with each other and with ourselves as individuals. That calibrated perspective made for much more grace-filled interactions when we were at our most tired and worn down.” — Scott, 48, New Jersey (married 26 years)