Your package is a big reason you got into this whole parenting thing, so it’s in your best interest to know what happens to it as you age. You’re undoubtedly familiar with the tell-tale signs of aging. Your skin wrinkles, your hair goes gray, the pockets of your corduroys magically fill with weird hard candies. But what about your penis? What, exactly, happens when your family jewels get a bit dusty? Here’s what the typical man can anticipate from his penis as it travels through time.
Off The Straight And Narrow
Just as many old men develop weird new hobbies like bird feeding or watching NCIS, your penis will be keen to branch off in new directions. Over time, everyday activities like sex and running cause the development of scar tissue inside the penis. As it usually builds up asymmetrically, this can cause a noticeable bend in a previously straight schlong. This not-so-blind curve is, unfortunately, natural. Excessive scar tissue, however, results in a condition known as Peyronie’s Disease. It affects about 1 in 20 men and can result in erectile dysfunction. Luckily (sort of), a direct injection of botox often straightens the issue right up.
Yes, your little general starts to lose rank as it gets older. But the actual change in size is quite small. In fact, it’s quite rare for a man to lose more than a centimeter of length over his lifetime. The only reason your object might appear smaller is because of, say, a large belly-hang that covers the base. So getting your sit-up on helps stave off the appearance of shrinkage.
Trouble With The Plumbing
Having difficulty urinating or holding it in are 2 of the most common problems as your penis ages. They originate in the prostate, but urinary issues are best prevented with a holistic approach to the whole nether region. Kegels, zinc, and selenium supplements, as well as ejaculating several times a week, are all good ways to stay in control as you age.
Not Going With The Flow
Nearly 15 percent of men have erectile dysfunction by age 70. Psychological and sexual issues cause it at any age, but in seniors, the culprit is usually low blood flow to the penis. While it’s tempting to pop a Viagra or a Cialis, the healthiest option is to address the underlying physiological causes. Exercising and eating a heart-healthy diet can keep you rocking railroad-tie-esque stiffies well into your 90s.
A Sensitive Subject
As testosterone levels drop with age, the nervous tissue inside the shaft that provides sensation starts to diminish. This can make it harder to climax. Though this is a bummer, the best defense against penile numbing is certainly not: have an erection every day. As urologist Madeleine Castellanos explained to the Huffington Post, “This is a case of use it or lose it. It’s just like if you don’t go to the gym, your muscles will get thinner and your arteries will close up. The same thing happens with a penis.”
It Will Pale In Comparison
Common circulatory problems related to aging, like atherosclerosis, can have a discoloring effect on the penis. Less blood makes its way to the higher areas of the shaft, causing it to turn much paler than the rest of your body. Although blood flow problems can be dangerous, there’s no reason to panic about the discoloration, especially since it’ll make your trunk easier to find in the dark.
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