Parenting is essentially a “You had one job” proposition: keep the kid alive. Sure, it’s infinitely more nuanced than that, but safely guiding the kid through each passing day really is more than half the battle. Speaking of battles, check out Who’s Your Daddy, a one-on-one PC video game that pits a responsible dad against a baby hell-bent on self-destruction.
If all that sounds like a twisted joke only a dad could love, that’s because it was, until the game’s creator threw it up on Kickstarter and then Steam Greenlight, where it exceeded its funding goal and won Steam Community support. Now it’s very real and available on PC, Mac and Linux/Steam OS for you to test your skills as the protector … or the lunatic kid.
The game takes place in a tastefully appointed two-story family home that mom has left for the afternoon, and if you thought teaching kids to fight or play with a chop saw was dangerous, just wait until you see what they can get themselves into around the kitchen and bathroom. As dad, you must baby-proof the place by locking cabinets, blocking bathtub access, preventing toxic fume inhalation, and more. Completing side chores, if you dare, unlocks power-ups like invisibility or the ability to see key objects or your baby’s health and location through walls. As baby, your job is to thwart those efforts by hiding essential items, sticking forks in outlets, or maybe having yourself a nice little bleach cocktail followed by a sauna session in the oven.
It’s a lot like real life, only the stakes are much lower and the disastrous consequences much more hilarious. Which is to say it’s nothing like real life, which is kind of the point.