How many times has this happened to you? You’re going about your day, minding your own business, maybe doing some deep couch sitting or picking something out of your belly button, when all of a sudden your offspring starts demanding that you feed it, lull it to sleep, or give it some sunshine and fresh air. The balls on that kid! And not even the kind you were all excited to brag to your buddies about.
If you didn’t become a father to do stuff, you should definitely throw your money at the patent-pending (and existence-pending) Smartbe Intelligent Stroller. This erstwhile robo-nanny looks like the lovechild of an RC car, a retractable roof stadium, and a toaster. It’s the Ron Popeil of prams. All together now: “Set it, and … ”
If necessity is the mother of invention, then laziness must be very necessary, because this carriage has everything a do-nothing parent could want: power folding and unfolding, retractable sunroof, automatic rocker, built-in speakers and camera, anti-theft alarm, and more — all app-controlled so you don’t even have to look at your kid while your stroller takes care of it. It’s got 3 drive modes: automatic propulsion, where its engine drives itself a safe distance ahead of you at your pace; assisted propulsion, where you at least pretend to push it; and manual, where you just push the thing, which is for suckers. In fact, because computers are so vastly superior to real-life parents in every way, the campaign video doesn’t even have a real prototype in it. CGI carriages for everyone!
All that can be yours for the low, low price of $400 to $3200 on Indiegogo depending on how badly you want this thing to exist. But that’s not all! Smartbe even has a friggin’ automatic bottle warmer built right in! No more heating bottles with dad’s life-giving breath. That lung capacity is best reserved for inhaling cheese fries. Just set your genius stroller to meet you at the bar.