If there’s one thing you can count on in life, it’s that your boys are gonna bust your balls. Your pants, on the other hand, shouldn’t bust your boys. Enter: The ABC Pant from Lululemon. (Yes, that women’s athletic-clothing company that specializes in see-thru yoga gear.)
In a Q1 earnings call, CEO Laurent Potdevin called the athleisure company’s “Anti-Ball Crushing” (or what used to be known as “not tight”) its hottest-selling item right now. And they’re not even transparent! Instead, they’re just casual pants you can wear to work and are made from quick-drying athletic fabrics that stretch and wick sweat. They also happened to be designed to let your testicles roam free and comfortably unfettered. Nobody wants to rock a drop-crotch or spend most of their day adjusting like a first baseman on Four Loko.
You could get away with wearing them to the office (especially if you work in a yoga studio), but sporty features like zippered pockets and reflective cuffs mean you’re most likely to wear them around the playground. The ABCs come in 8 colors like “wacky khaki” and “cool beans” brown — which your buddies will most definitely bust your balls about.
Lululemon ABC Pant ($128)