Even if you consider the kids depending on your health and well-being to be the best motivation for staying fit that you’ve ever had, you’re now more pressed for time than you’ve ever been. It’s not enough to make every spare moment count; you have to make every spare movement count. These pieces of home gym equipment will help you get the most out of your new exercise routine, whether you’re banging out sets between pre-dawn feedings or between kids who are feeding on your sanity.
Since you’re probably most familiar with this from delirious infomercial watching during said pre-dawn feedings, here’s a quick primer: Navy SEALs developed the Perfect Pushup specifically to update outdated training methods that contributed to injuries — that’s among SEALs, so imagine what those old-school moves are doing to you. The home gym equipment really works, provided you don’t simply set it and forget it. Different infomercial. Go back to bed.
Trigger Point Performance ‘The Grid’ Foam Roller
Recovery is important now that you’re an old man with a constant backache from chasing and/or carrying a kid around all day. With said kid spending all your money, you probably don’t have the cash for the weekly massage you so desperately need, but for 40 bucks you can inflict an equal measure of hurts-so-good treatment on yourself from the (dis)comfort of your living room floor.
Ader Pro-Grade International Kettlebell, 16kg
The kettlebell is the ultimate bang-for-your-buck piece of exercise equipment. It requires next to zero storage space, you only need one, and it’s so versatile that ten minutes a day with one can get you as jacked as the guy who started CrossFit (says the guy who started CrossFit). Start with this 35-pounder and remember, the journey to beast mode begins with a single swing.
Fitbit Aria WiFi Smart Scale
The Aria links to your Fitbit account and tracks all the same things the bracelets do — weight, lean mass, body fat percentage, and body mass index — only you don’t bring it to the office and remind your coworkers whenever you hit your daily steps goal. It tracks up to eight users so you and your spouse can enjoy some friendly competition. What could possibly go wrong?
TRX Suspension Trainer Basic Kit + Door Anchor
As former Navy SEAL Randy Hetrick said, “You can’t do happy hour anymore, anyway” so you might as use that time to stay fit. Just because he said it while trying to sell you his TRX suspension training system doesn’t make it any less true. This starter kit gives you everything you need (including DVD and print guides) to start shredding multiple joints and muscles at a time in less than 30 minutes a day.
Bowflex SelectTech 552 Adjustable Dumbbells
If your actual home gym equipment got nuked to make way for a nursery, here’s a full rack of dumbbells that will fit in whatever corner of the house you can still claim as yours. That’s because each dumbbell quickly ratchets up from 5 to 52.5 pounds with the click of a dial, so you can get your reps in and your kid can have room for all those toys. Which they totally need and play with all the time.
Kinetic Rock n Roll Trainer With Road Resistance Unit
You might consider hauling your kid around weight training enough, and you might be right, but that’s not enough to get you out of cardio. The stainless steel Rock n Roll Trainer brings the Tour de Dad inside, easily attaching to your bike and simulating side-to-side motion and real road feel. Now you don’t have to wear the spandex in public (although it’s equally embarrassing in private).
Valeo Deluxe Speed Rope
Pretend you’re Rocky and go crazy on some double-unders with this adjustable, comfort grip jump rope. Just don’t expect to be ready to take down Ivan Drago and the entire USSR after four minutes of work set to Survivor’s greatest hits. Rocky had a montage, and you are not Rocky.