The 15 Funniest, Corniest New Year’s Jokes for Kids and Grown-Ups

Ring in the new year with these jokes that will crack your kids up.

by Emily Kelleher
pink edit of one year old girl in striped shirt and bow headband laughing at dad's new years

New Year’s Eve is all champagne, glitter, and the promise of new beginnings until you’re two or three kids in, it’s the morning of January 1 and instead of nursing a hangover you’re nursing two rambunctious kids in bed before your alarm clock has even gone off. Before you know it, you’re throwing together breakfast and trying to figure out if you had been too ambitious with your resolutions. But corny new year’s jokes can always brighten the mood. Luckily, kids are easy to impress in the joke department, and a funny dad joke is just the thing to brighten their mood. These New Year’s jokes for kids will have everyone laughing into January.

Funny New Year Jokes for Kids and Grown-Ups

  1. Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve? To ring in the new year.
  2. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? He got 12 months!
  3. What did the ghost say on January 1st? Happy Boo Year.
  4. What food should you avoid on New Year’s? Firecrackers
  5. What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ear’s Day
  6. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Eve.
  7. What do you say when saying goodbye on New Year’s Eve? See you next year!
  8. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? Waiting for the punchline
  9. What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security
  10. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna stay up till midnight? I’m tired!
  11. What do you say to your friends on New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you since last year.
  12. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.
  13. What’s a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year!
  15. My friend asked me where I see myself in the new year. How would I know? I don’t have 2021 vision.
  16. Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? To start off the new year in a cool way.