Dad Jokes

26 Of The Very Best Dad Jokes On Reddit

Clean humor from the front page of the internet

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Dad Jokes Are Funny Jokes: The Complete Fatherly Guide

With 1.7 billion monthly visits, Reddit is arguably the most active hive mind on the internet. The online forum platform is teeming with over 130,000 sub-forums and communities, covering nearly any topic or category imaginable. Including, it turns out, dad jokes. As with all things Reddit, finding the true gems may require some digging and sifting.

One of our favorite subreddits just so happens to be r/dadjokes, which is full of both groaners and guffaws. The moderators do a good job keeping it clean and sending posts that cross the line over to r/unclejokes, but having amassed 6 million members since 2011, the subreddit has a lot of content to wade through in order to find the real howlers. We know it can be a bit overwhelming and confusing to navigate for some folks, so we rolled up our sleeves and found the absolute best dad jokes on Reddit for your enjoyment and utilization.

Here are some hilarious and totally clean dad jokes from the best of Reddit.

26. From Redditor u/StuntsMonkey:

My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning

It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.

25. From Reddiotr u/amplifi-dash:

The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence, she said…”

"...40 second birthday."

24. From Redditor u/rupanath97:

Question: What genre are national anthems?

Answer: Country.

23. From Redditor u/ebkbk:

Today, my son asked "Can I have a bookmark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

22. From Redditor u/Typhann:

Question: Why does Dracula always bite people in the neck?

Answer: Because he's a neck romancer

EDIT: getting downvoted, might have been a grave mistake posting here.

EDIT 2: getting a lot of upvotes now. I guess the Count is rising.

21. From Redditor u/mooshoopork4:

I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.

20. From Redditor u/Foreverxtrue24:

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

19. From Redditor u/RedShirtCashion:

I must admit, I joined this subreddit despite not being a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.I feel like a father figure now.

18. From a deleted Redditor:

I have a simple standard for dad joke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard. But no pun in ten did.

17, From Redditor u/Ramzee24:

Question: Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?

Answer: Because they had a fight and 2021.

16. From Redditor u/_joshi_:

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months. The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy, and a girl. They're both fine. And, your brother named them for you.

Woman: No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: {deeply sighs} Denephew.

15. From Redditor u/amalgamxtc:

Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?

They had a long conversation about bark.

14. From Redditor u/Nachbar:

My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said maybe they'll marry each other.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age.

13. From Redditor u/lan_mcdo:

My wife asked me to flip the calendar to the next month. To my surprise, the calendar skipped from April to June. I turned to tell her we were missing a month.

She said, "What's the matter? You look dis-Mayed."

12. From Redditor u/RabidSyphiliticDingo:

A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer.

The clerk replies, “It’s a freebie.”

11. From Redditor u/ArchipelagoMind:

I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I said, "That means it's pasture bedtime."

10. From Redditor u/wimpykidfan37:

Question: If Ani is short for Anakin and Obi is short for Obi-Wan, what is Luke short for?

Answer: A stormtrooper.

9. From a Deleted Redditor:

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister,

Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol.

8. From Redditor u/varthalon:

Can one of the Mods please explain to me why my post was removed?

I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.

7. From Redditor u/AlabamaMayan:

Question: Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

Answer: To the I.C.U.

6. From Redditor u/Daudelin1:

My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.

I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”

5. From Redditor u/GhostPotency:

My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said “Go on.” Then he shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman.”

“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practicing it a lot.”

4. From Redditor u/wcslater:

It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45-minute walk from the bar to my house.

The difference is staggering

3. From Redditor u/D3V1L420:

Question: What has five toes but isn’t your foot?

Answer: My foot.

2. From Redditor u/asiers:

Question: How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

Answer: First, a tractor.

1. From Redditor u/AlabamaMayan:

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

Check out more of Fatherly’s epic collection of dad jokes right here.