Any adult who has come within 50 feet of a preschooler in the last 3 years likely knows about Paw Patrol. For the uninitiated, it’s a children’s show about a handful of puppies and their iconoclastic, 10-year-old owner named Ryder, who appear to be responsible for the emergency and municipal maintenance services in the tiny beachfront community of Adventure Bay.
This premise is obviously insane. Why would the citizens trust their fire safety, for instance, to a clumsy pup whose dog house turns into a fire truck? Dogs, after all, don’t even have thumbs! Where does the money for that kind of stuff even come from? Why is every adult on this show a complete imbecile? Where are most of the adults to begin with? These were a few of the burning questions of The Gaudian‘s Senior Social Reporter Martin Belam (and any parent who’s ever watched the show, frankly). And once the question had been posed, people took to Twitter to offer their own answers.
The show manages to raise so many eyebrows that an entire Twitter page called @PawPatrolCritique has been dedicated to keeping fans abreast of the strange happenings in Adventure Bay.
All these conspiracies and weird observations are good, but in all likelihood, there is only one possible answer: Dogs actually took over the planet millennia ago. Ryder isn’t actually their leader, but a go-between, a pet in his own right, maintaining a delicate power balance between the sedated public and their covert, but ruthless puppy overlords. It’s obvious.