Because the Internet is the Internet and loves to reignite pointless debates, Halloween season means hot takes about candy corn. Some people love it! Some people hate it! I think it’s…fine. I prefer my candy with a bit more texture, but I won’t turn down a handful of the orange, yellow, and white kernels if they’re near me. If I had to make some sort of one-to-one comparison, I’d say Mellowcreme Pumpkins are the superior version of the candy because they are a bit creamier. But, really, who cares? Either you like them, you don’t, or you feel meh about them and still won’t turn down a taste. I don’t ever want to die on a hill made of corn syrup and sugar. If candy corn brings you joy? Have a great time.
But, again, because the Internet is the Internet, I came across a candy corn survey conducted by Morning Consult on behalf of the National Confectioner’s Association that’s been lingering in my head ever since. The survey sought answers to a simple question: What’s the right way to eat Candy Corn? While 65-percent of respondents said they eat the whole piece at once (perfectly normal), 29-percent (!) said they start at the narrow white end, while seven percent (!) start at the wider yellow end.
I didn’t want to write about candy corn. But the fact that there are at least a few people who purposely nibble at candy corn from either end is, frankly, bonkers. Candy corn pieces are small! They’re bite-sized! Each piece tastes the same! Why are people nibbling them from end-to-end? If candy corn had three different flavors to correspond with each color, I would understand taking small bites to experience them one at a time. But every layer of candy corn basically tastes the same! It’s all just…sweet.
My question is…why? If you are someone who nibbles, please tell me why you do this. I’m not judging you or telling you to stop this behavior. I’m just curious why this happens. What does nibbling do? Is it to prevent yourself from eating too much? Is it because you think there are different flavors and when eating them this way, you get more nuance?
I’ve seen some candy corn behavior that I’ve found troubling. A college roommate of mine would sometimes make a plate of Nilla Wafers with a smear of frosting crowned with a single piece of upright candy corn. The candy corn was — and still is — in his opinion, a must for that cursed snack. I saw a recipe the other day for “candy corn on the cob,” which featured logs of edible cookie cough covered with lines of candy corn to make it look like a mini ear of corn. Just looking at that recipe made my foot hurt.
I managed to flush the image of that sugary log out of my brain. But I cannot stop thinking about the candy corn nibblers out there. I went to sleep the other night thinking about how to even grip a candy corn properly to nibble it from one end or the other. So, I beg you, if you do this, get in touch and tell me why and put an end to my personal Halloween-fueled nightmare.