As a parent, you are probably all too aware of the “Baby Shark” craze. The original video by Pinkfong, which was posted more than two years ago, and has more than 2.1 billion views on YouTube. It’s spawned “Baby Shark” holiday videos and plenty of video knock-offs. Your kids probably like to bounce, dance and sing along to the song. This is mostly cute. Until you’re listening to “Baby Shark” for the one hundredth time that day. There’s even Baby Shark toys now on Amazon, which should only be bought and given to your worst enemies and never your friends.
For your sanity’s sake, Fatherly delved deep into YouTube and found and listened to 15 versions of the “Baby Shark” song to find the version that won’t make you want to gouge your eyes out after hearing it all day and the version that you should avoid like the plague.
15. 50X More Irritating
Of course, Pinkfong decided to speed up “Baby Shark.” As a parent, you are obligated to make sure your kids never find this version or you’re going to go completely insane if your kids figure out how to play this on repeat.
14. It’s Just All Bad
There are plenty of knock-off versions of “Baby Shark” on the Internet. Every other YouTube channel decided to capitalize on this trend after the newest nursery rhyme song went viral. This one is just bad. The costumes are creepy, the voices don’t quite sync and are irritating. Skip this version.
13. Baby’s First Rave
Sure, the brightly colored sharks lend themselves to EDM. It’s not a surprise that this exists. It doesn’t mean that this version lends itself to your ears, though. This version is more for bored teenagers to laugh at than for your toddler to dance around to. Poor Grandma and Grandpa Shark don’t deserve this.
12. The OG
This video got 2.1 billion views for a reason. It’s catchy, vibrant, simple and even has a dance that goes along with it. Not a lot of nursery songs have entered the lexicon since Mother Goose, but YouTube and exhausted parents made this a global sensation. It is annoying though, which is why it’s on this half of the list.
11. The Classic Cartoon
This version of “Baby Shark” harkens back to the days of ’90s cartoons. Those poor crabs wouldn’t look totally out of place in Spongebob Squarepants. At first brush, it doesn’t seem that irritating. The lyrics are more repetitive in this version and it speeds up like a camp song making it intolerable after a few listens.
10. The One With Mummy Shark
The video for this is admittedly pretty cute. Who doesn’t love a pirate shark? Playing this might help your kids decide on their Halloween costume (but they might just dress up as sharks anyway). It honestly wouldn’t be that bad if not for the spooky, screechy noise that randomly pops into the song to give it that Halloween flare.
9. Flashdance…with Sharks
Nobody asked for this, but we got it anyway. Baby, Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa Shark break it down with their grooviest attire.
8. Injected with Christmas Spirit
It wouldn’t be the holidays without “Baby Shark.” This is only more amusing for parents because there are just so many weird things in this video to discuss with your parenting partner. For instance: Is Grandma Shark wearing a witch hat?
7. The Adult Version
James Corden took on the sensational song his own way with Sophie Turner (Game of Thrones) and Josh Groban, the performer who can make anything sound amazing. The father of three was intimately familiar with the “Baby Shark” song. Unfortunately, it’s broken up with audience applause. He should record it.
6. A Visit From Santa Shark
This unofficial Christmas version is ranked higher than the official one, because it’s a little bit more creative. Viewers need to hold their Baby Shark content to high standards. Those reindeer sharks are adorable.
5. The Baby Shark Lullaby
When your kids are all hyped up from watching hours of “Baby Shark,” this might be a good way to wind them down. If Baby Shark is going to sleep, maybe they will, too? It’s worth a try.
4. The Semi-Educational Song
Featuring real people and different dance moves, this “Baby Shark” shouts out other creatures of the ocean beyond sharks. Imagine the kids’ collective disappointment the day when they find out sharks aren’t yellow or pink.
3. Ghost Shark
The rhythm and beat of this version is different enough to distract your brain from the fact that you’re listening to “Baby Shark” for the 500th time. It’s also got sharks in costumes, which is always a plus.
2. Now With Weird Animation
The animation in this video might be terrifying, but the song is not that annoying. If you can get past the family stiffly dancing in front of looming sharks at an aquarium.
1. The Least Irritating Song About Baby Sharks
With just one human voice singing “Baby Shark” in a calm manner, it’s palatable. It almost becomes background noise. That’s really all you can ask for!
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