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55 Truly Funny Jokes for Work That Don’t Cross Any Lines

No long, awkward pauses after these punchlines.

It’s Monday: You’re staring down another week of work and need some convincing there’s a reason to feel anything but dread — something to give you hope you’ll make it to Friday. You need good clean jokes to share with coworkers, like work jokes that’ll help buck up the whole team. Having an arsenal of funny work-appropriate jokes at your disposal can be handy for lifting the mood and boosting morale when the stress of work (and everything else in life) gets the better of us. Good jokes for work are even handier in the era of Zoom, where social awkwardness reigns supreme, and a corny joke can really take the edge off. With normal work stressors being compounded by the pandemic and all of its effects, creating brief funny moments in your day can help everyone’s mood. So, here are some of the safest and funniest jokes you can unleash at work.

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Clean, Funny, Appropriate: Work Jokes that Work

  1. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.
  2. What’s the best part about teamwork? Someone else to blame.
  3. What’s the worst part about working at a calendar factory? No days off.
  4. Why are construction workers great at parties? They always raise the roof.
  5. What do you call stealing ideas from many? Research.
  6. What’s the opposite of artificial intelligence? Natural stupidity.
  7. What did the nearsighted optometrist say when he was sick? I can’t see myself coming in today.
  8. Why are fewer people going into archeology? Career advancement is in ruins.
  9. What do you call 12 people doing the work of one? A committee.
  10. What did the supervisor say to the calendar? Your days are numbered.
  11. What’s the problem with unemployment jokes? None of them work.
  12. Why are chemists great at solving problems? Because they have all the solutions!
  13. Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
  14. Why do I drink coffee? I like to do stupid things faster and with more energy.
  15. Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar? He got 12 months!
  16. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
  17. What does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
  18. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Fo drizzle.
  19. Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn’t like it when he went the extra mile.
  20. A conference call is the best way to get a dozen people to say bye 300 times.
  21. To err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
  22. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
  23. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field!
  24. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
  25. You know what they say about a clean desk. It’s a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  26. Why did she quit her job at the helium factory? She refused to be talked to in that voice.
  27. What did the employee do when the boss said to have a good day? Went home.
  28. What does a mathematician say when something goes wrong? Figures!
  29. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
  30. The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
  31. I get plenty of exercise at work: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
  32. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  33. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you! You have my Word!
  34. I gave up my seat to an elderly person on the bus. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.
  35. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
  36. Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
  37. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
  38. I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
  39. My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
  40. When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor.”
  41. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? “You look drunk.”
  42. There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
  43. You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it’s only Thursday.
  44. What did the bartender say when she refused to serve Comic Sans a drink? “We don’t serve your type here.”
  45. Why is a doctor always calm? Because she has a lot of patients.
  46. What band was better than The Cure? Prevention!
  47. Who wins in a fight between Sunday and Monday? Sunday. Monday is a weekday.
  48. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  49. When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”
  50. What do you call a factory that manufactures products that are fine? A satis-factory.
  51. I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
  52. If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.
  53. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  54. I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
  55. I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.

Editor’s note: All of these hilarious jokes for work are in the public domain. However, we spotted a few of these on sites like LaffGaffBestLifeOnlineRD, and CultureAmp, which we can’t recommend strongly enough.