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The Funniest Food Jokes and Puns for Kids Who Like (Or Don’t Like) to Eat

You may not be able to get your kid to eat their greens, but you may be able to get a laugh out of them at the dinner table.

Even the pickiest eaters are happy to feast on food jokes and food puns — there’s just something about a food joke that’s particularly funny. Maybe it’s the imagery of a talking cornstalk or maybe it’s the ease with which you can manipulate the words to make their meaning be the farthest thing from food-related. Perhaps the best thing about food jokes and puns for kids is that the dumber they are, the better. You can’t go wrong! There may be no category of deliciously corny dad joke more universally appreciated: Food jokes are sure to put a smile on your (tater) tots faces.

You may not be able to get your kid to eat their greens, but you may be able to get a laugh out of them at the dinner table with this comprehensive list of the funniest food jokes for kids.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

What did the baby corn say to its mom?

Where’s my popcorn?

Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?

Because he was on a roll.

What does a nosey pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

When potatoes have babies, what are they called?

Tater tots.

How fast is milk?

It’s pasteurized before you know it.

How do you make an apple turnover?

Push it downhill.

What kind of socks do you need to plant asparagus?

Garden hose.

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

To get another rib.

What did the pecan say to the walnut?

We’re friends because we’re both nuts.

Where did the broccoli go to have a few drinks?

The salad bar.

What did one blueberry say to the other blueberry?

If you weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam.

What do you call cheese that is not ours?

Nacho cheese.

Wanna hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

What’s the best way to burn vegetables?

Roast them.

Which condiment adds the most kick?

Horseradish.

Why are butchers so hilarious?

They always ham it up.

Which friends should you take to dinner?

Your taste buds.

What should you do if your soup is too hot?

Add a chilly pepper.

What part of a meal makes you the most sleepy?

A nap-kin.

What’s an omnivore’s favorite food?

Zoo-chini.

When is eating just like school?

When you have three or four courses.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

What do you call blueberries playing the guitar?

A jam session.

What’s the most relaxing type of pasta?

Spa-ghetti.

How do you truly savor a hot dog?

With relish.

How do you ask a foodie out to dinner?

“Lettuce meat for a date.”

What’s the best thing to put into a pie?

Your teeth!

When do you go at red and stop at green?

When you’re eating a watermelon.

Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?

I’m not telling you. You might spread it!

Why do the French like to eat snails?

Because they don’t like fast food.

What kind of nuts always seem to have a cold?

Cashews!

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

I wasn’t peeling well.

In which school do you learn how to make ice cream?

Sunday School

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?

Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn have ears.

Did you hear about the carrot detective?

He got to the root of every case.

Why does yogurt love going to museums?

Because it’s cultured.

How do you measure the weight of crackers?

In grahams.

Boy, I just got hit in the head with a soda. I was lucky it was a soft drink. 

What do you give to a sick lemon?

Lemon-aid.

What are twins favorite fruit?

Pears!

Why did the dieter go to the paint store?

He wanted to get thinner.

Why do melons prefer weddings?

They cantaloupe!

What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?

A box of quackers!

What happened to the slices of bread that disappeared overnight?

Turned out the e-loafed!

What did the Ketchup say to the hot dog? 

Nice to meat you!

Why couldn’t the hamburger stop making jokes?

He was on a roll!

Why didn’t the gardener get around to planting an herb garden?

They couldn’t find the thyme!