Babies seem so cute and innocent—but are they really? Apparently not, according to a viral Twitter thread where people are sharing all of the reasons they can’t stand the tiny humans. And for anyone who’s ever had the joy (or the pain) of knowing an infant, the responses are as hilarious as they are relatable.
“Let’s slander newborns. I don’t like their lil swoop hairdos,” user Charlily (@charlee_buns) posted on March 23. The tweet quickly blew up on social media, garnering nearly 76,000 likes and over 18,000 comments so far.
And the number of responses that the post received prove that there are a lot of people not on the baby bandwagon. Whether it was to comment on that often-beloved newborn smell or bring up the very true point that babies don’t really contribute anything to society, users had a lot of thoughts on the topic as the comments section turned into an infant-roasting free-for-all.
Let’s slander newborns. I don’t like their lil swoop hairdos.
— Charlily 💕🍭 (@charlee_buns) March 23, 2019
One user rants that babies are basically glorified free-loaders who are born just to take everything from their parents in the end.
They're here to replace us. They want to take our jobs and live in our houses and when we die the little buggers will take all our money.
— Man_on_a_farm (@gulliver_trevor) March 24, 2019
Along those same lines, another user thinks that newborns are just too clingy, needing constant attention. Why can’t they take care of themselves occasionally?!
Too clingy, which messes up the vibe. Act like they gonna die if you leave them alone for a couple days 🙄
— 🧍🏽♀️ (@candlelitttt) March 24, 2019
That sentiment was echoed by the user who pointed out that babies have “no hustle or ambition.”
They have no hustle or ambition. Steady relying on somebody else.
— Silk Shirt Papi 🐻 🇯🇲 (@DapperManReem) March 23, 2019
As one person added, they seem to be unaware that life requires work and not just sleeping all day, every day.
For people who don’t do any work, they sure do sleep a lot. 😡
We’ve got bills???!!!!!
— Ekundayo (@Fowoke_) March 24, 2019
One person brought up their poor communication skills…aka they cry over everything.
And when they cry… ????
Feed him… Still cries
Give him toy… Still cries
Hold him… Still cries
Can they be clear about what they want… their lives ain't that hard to be crying all the damn time
— Your fav follower (@lunga_lindo) March 24, 2019
And how about their eating habits (or rather, lack thereof)? One user finds their inability to use a brand new set of teeth very irritating.
They don’t even know how to chew. They get brand new teeth and still try to swallow food whole like a boa constrictor. Then got the nerve to choke all silly and stuff🙄
— The Real Mrs. Drake (@tsddrake) March 23, 2019
But perhaps the winner is the user who gave babies a rating based on their efficiency. Zero out of 10, of course.
For a product that’s brand new they’re not efficient. 0/10 would not recommend
— mushu ???? (@TheRookieGod1) March 24, 2019