Don't ignore the guy who's been social distancing since he was four years old.


Watch Ron Swanson's Quarantine Advice From 'Parks and Rec' Special

by Cameron LeBlanc

Last night’s “A Parks and Recreation Special” featured the entire cast of the beloved sitcom plus many of the eccentric supporting players that gave Pawnee its demented small-town charm. We’re looking at you, Jon Glaser.

Among the highlights from the special shot on iPhones mailed to the cast was a video chat between the two characters at the heart of the show: Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson.

Leslie combined her penchant for organizing initiatives with her preternatural need for human contact by setting up a phone tree, an idea that didn’t exactly fit into her former coworker’s idea of a good time.

“This is the system, you got a better system?” she asked him.

“Yes, we talk far less than that, or we just send each other a photo of ourselves holding up today’s newspaper to prove we’re OK,” he retorted. Call it friendship by ransom photo.

But that wasn’t Ron’s only quarantine advice. Speaking from his remote cabin, he called a bottle of Lagavulin and called it “the only mental health I need” which, while not particularly healthy, is quite on-brand.

As for his physical needs, Ron revealed that he hunted enough venison to build up a 12-year supply of jerky for those with adequately sharpened incisors. Delicious, and no trip to a crowded grocery store (or Food and Stuff) necessary, which is particularly clutch given the upcoming meat shortage.

Ron’s quasi-hermitic lifestyle is made for quarantine — “I’ve been practicing social distancing since I was four years old” — so if you don’t have scotch to drink and jerky to eat in your own woodshop, then you’re simply not doing quarantine as well as he is.

You can watch “A Parks and Recreation Special” on Hulu and