Fatherly

Dad Has F**king Perfect Reaction to the News He’s Having Triplets

How can a video with this much swearing be this wholesome?

By
May 28 2020, 11:44 AM

The odds of having triplets are tiny. Just 3,400 women gave birth to triplets in 2018 out of 3,791,712 total births, according to the CDC. Their rarity means that if your partner is pregnant you don’t really need to worry about the prospect of triplets, which makes it all the more gobsmacking when it does happen. Coupled with the tripling of money and effort needed to raise three kids, the sheer improbability of it all is overwhelming.

Just ask the guy in this viral video. As a precaution against COVID-19, he and his young son sat in the car while his pregnant wife went in for her ultrasound and found out that she was expecting triplets. She decided to film his reaction to the news, capturing a profound and profane moment in their lives.

His smile on opening the envelope with the ultrasound images disappears in the blink of an eye when he reads “Baby A” on the photo.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Are you kidding me?” he asks in disbelief, the first of many curse words he’s about to utter.

“Just wait, just wait,” his wife gleefully responds, which might seem kind of mean if she didn’t also film and post her own reaction video.

“No,” he says emphatically, in denial. She confirms that, yeah, they’re having three more kids, and all he can say is “Holy shit!”

“Oh my god! Oh no, oh no, oh fuck!” he continues, drawing out the words “no” and “fuck” with the energy of a man deflated by the dawning reality that he’s not in control and won’t be for a long time.

Then, he stares through the windshield, in what looks like the bargaining phase. He says “Oh shit” a few times, “No” a few more times, and “What the fuck? Oh my god!” for good measure.

It’s now that our dude turns the corner to acceptance, smiling and telling the kid who’s hilariously been sitting in his lap the whole time that he’s going to have three siblings, eliciting a chuckle.

Dad starts laughing maniacally and clutches his heart before asking “What are we gonna do?! The house isn’t big enough for us?!” Then, he delivers the line of the video.

“I’m stoppin’ at two. I’m getting this thing cut at two. Bwahhhhnk. Four! Holy shit.”

We’d recommend that this dude keep his vasectomy appointment—the chances of having another multiple pregnancy is much higher if you’ve already had one, and we’re not sure his heart can take another surprise like this one.