An Open Letter To The Guy Who’s About To Become A Stepfather

Don't believe everything that you read.

by Paul Montesclaros
Originally Published: 

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What does it feel like to be a step parent?

There seems to be a lot of negativity online associated with being a stepparent. I am going to go out on a limb and say being a stepparent is an incredible experience, honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I met my stepson when he was just 2 years old and fatherless. Lucky for him he has a mother who is nothing short of amazing. I could not begin to speak of how impressive my girlfriend is as a mother. She is one of the few persons on Earth that could sacrifice years of her social life, in the peak of her youth just to care for a child, our child, with all of her heart and with all of her might.

Flickr (Philippe Put)

At that point I already liked kids, but I was completely unsure about how to deal with them and how to be a parent. But it was because my partner was so confident and so good at being a mother that allowed me to be inspired to become a good father as well. So it took a lot of time. I learned the right way to carry him, the right way to feed him, how to handle the situation when he cries, how to bond with him. And despite my initial lack of parenting know-how the 3 of us became the very best of friends, as well as a very happy, loving and nurturing young family.

I was fully aware that to be with the 2 of them I needed to sacrifice my youth and what being a young person entails. Sacrifice all the parties , the boys night out and everything similar. To every other young man that may sound hard and difficult, but what it ended up being for me, was a dream come true.

Why do it?

Because like it or not, kids deserve the love and warmth of a complete set of parents. I know that because I practically grew up without a mother or father by my side. And I knew in my gut that my Zackery was too special to go through life without a dad.


I love him very much, and if I could decide everything, he would have my blood running through his veins, circumnavigating each corner of his young, pure little heart. That will never happen however. But I choose to believe family is far more than what common blood can decide. It is about loyalty, understanding and love. And that is what I want to give my son till the day that I die.

Do not be afraid to love a child as your own. For to love someone so pure and innocent is to take after God’s own heart.

Best wishes from my little boy and me.

Paul Montesclaros enjoys writing about parenting, healthy living, and UFC. You can find more from Quora here:

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