Once upon a time, a group of researchers from the University of Queensland decided to look into how long (heterosexual) sex typically lasts. There is, of course, a lot of ambiguity wrapped up in that concept. And scientists don’t do well with ambiguity. So before they could proceed, they had to come up with a more exact definition of sex. They decided to frame things in terms of penetration and ejaculation. They referred to this window as the “intravaginal ejaculation latency time.” They rounded up 500 couples from around the world to help complete the investigation. They asked them to have sex. They asked them to time it. And that’s how they found out that the average session lasted just under five and a half minutes.
Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that timeframe. Five minutes of pleasure sounds a lot better than five minutes of no pleasure at all. But problems can pop up when you compare a man’s average ejaculatory threshold to the amount of time it takes women to hit climax. You see, women regularly take up to 20 minutes to orgasm.
So where do we go with this information? How can we resolve this disparity? We could look into other kinds of sex from which we can derive pleasure, for one. We could also invest in accessories designed to help prolong the sexual experience. Or, we could establish other organic ways to extend our performance. Like, you know, sex positions that cater to such things. “There are a number of sex positions out there that can help guys last longer during sex,” says Bethany Ricciardi, a sex educator for the sex toy retailer, TooTimid. Here, with Ricciardi’s assistance are four to try the next time you want to go the extra mile.
You know the one. She’s on her side. You’re on your side. You shimmy up behind her. Typically, she’ll stick her butt out, and maybe lift a leg. “This position helps guys last longer because, for the most part, you’re snuggled so close there isn’t much room for quick thrusts,” says Ricciardi. “The closer you get the better for this one.” Plus, she says, this position requires some careful maneuvering, which means he’ll have to focus on something other than finishing up fast. “If he gets too excited and starts going faster he’s more likely to slip out. He’ll be forced to bump and grind with slow, steady movements.”
“Here, you’re basically going to sit, criss-cross-applesauce on each other,” says Ricciardi. “He will sit down and cross his legs and his partner will sit on top of him.” This position is very sweet and very sensual. It’s also one that limits a guy’s ability to move too quickly, which is important when trying to prolong sex. “She can move up and down and round-and-round, but there’s really no way he can start delivering, fast intense thrusts to reach his climax,” says Ricciardi. To give the woman further control in this position, Ricciardi suggests wrapping their arms around his neck and leaning back. “It will provide a nice visual tease, and encourage more shallow penetration, helping him last longer,” she says.
Any position that places the woman on top will limit his range of motion. Cowgirl is one such possibility. Reverse Cowgirl is another. Either way, she’ll get to hold the reigns and he’ll get to enjoy the view. It’s a win-win situation. “These kinds of positions do allow for deep penetration, but since she’s in control, she can move up and down slowly or in slow circles. He’ll definitely enjoy the sexual stimulation and the view, but he isn’t able to get off quick here,” says Ricciardi. “Typically, women in these kinds of positions enjoy slower, smaller thrusts.”
Anything But the One You Love
This tip doesn’t focus on what position you should try so much as it does positions to avoid. “At the end of the day, we all have our favorite positions, and they’re most likely our favorite because they create the best feeling,” says Ricciardi. “If you know what position you enjoy sex the most in, wait until the end of play for it.” So try to hold out. Wait until the time is right to assume your preferred position, and blast off.