Everything shifts when you become a parent — including the way you have sex. Much like sleeping-in, good, long sex becomes a luxury. And that makes the quickie your best option. It allows you to enjoy all the stress-relieving, relationship-strengthening benefits of sex at a time when intimacy, connection, and time are luxuries. Of course, speedy sex requires some skill. Listed below are some professional-tips for making fast sex fantastic. Because entertaining a little bit of a good thing is better than getting none at all.
READ MORE: The Fatherly Guide to Sex After Kids
Priming the engines are key to good sex. Unfortunately, the quickie doesn’t exactly cater to extended make-out sessions and other undercover activities. Fortunately, we have technology on our side. “Send flirtatious messages throughout the day,” suggests Heidi Doheny Jay, author of the upcoming book Confessions of 400 Men.“Just because the sex is going to be fast doesn’t mean the build-up to it has to be.” Your definition of flirty depends on your relationship. But a few winky faces and well-placed emojis can always get things going. So can the old standby “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Scout A Proper Location
Scouting out a good location is a smart way to kick off a quickie. Of course, you don’t always have to go far to get it on fast. “The quickest way I know to have sex is if you’ve just woken up and are already in bed,” says adult actress Whitney Wright. Hopping into the shower together is another good option. We’re already used to getting naked in there. Of course, a little adventure also helps get the blood flowing. “Circumstances that feel risky will push you to the edge much sooner,” says Kayden Kross, also an adult actress. “Try a quickie in an airplane bathroom, for instance, before anyone notices it’s been occupied too long.”
Position Yourself Accordingly
“Standing positions in tight places always lend themselves to quickies,” says Kross.“In general, anything that increases blood flow will get you there faster.” Of course, positioning yourself for sex and positioning yourself for orgasm are two different tasks, especially if you happen to be a woman. Dr. Michael Reitano, an expert in sexual health suggests the 69 for heterosexual couples in a crunch. “It’s a great way to reach orgasm together,” he explains.
Dress for the Occasion
Undressing can be a pretty romantic ritual — if you have time on your side. If not, think about skipping the process altogether. “Depending on what you are wearing and depending on the position, you can keep your clothes on,” says Caleb Backe, health and wellness expert for Maple Holistics. “Sometimes it’s hotter that way.” And remember, certain garments cater to the quickie better than others. “It’s as easy as pulling up your skirt and going at it, finishing, cleaning up, grabbing your stuff, and heading out the door,” says Wright.
Know Thyself, Know Thy Partner
If you’re going in for a quickie, keep your partner’s preferences in mind. “Go straight for what they like,” says Jonathon Bennett, dating and relationship coach and owner of the Popular Man. “Discover what gets your partner extra hot and bothered and do it immediately. Don’t waste time! You can save the other stuff for when you’re not in a hurry.”