Sex changes when you have kids. You have less time to luxuriate because, well, you have less time in general. But sustaining a connection is still as important as ever. That’s why, for many busy parents, the quickie is — or should be — king. Because sneaking off for five minutes to have sex in the bedroom, bathroom, or backseat is essential to keeping sanity and intimacy in-tact during a time when both are threatened. In fact, Dr. Patti Britton, clinical sexologist and co-founder of Sex Coach University goes so far as to say lack of sex is the number one issue facing couples today and sees quickies as the only way to get by — and get off.
“Quickies are not a substitute for a gourmet meal,” she says. “However, they can be exactly the appetizer you need. They serve on a deep level to maintain the connectivity of the relationship. That’s the glue that binds couples when they’re parents.”
As quickie sex requires a different move set, Britton, along with Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, a sexologist and creator of the Sexual Pro Series Webinar Videos, offered some suggestions for the best sex positions for getting it done on the clock.
The Stand and Deliver
“This is a terrific quickie,” Britton says of this position, which involves simply entering your partner from behind in a standing position. It’s sexy, allows for maximum pleasure, and, as it doesn’t require clothes to come off, is easy to disengage from if someone happens to walk in. “Quickies don’t require nudity, which is part of their fun,” Britton says. “If she knows that she’s going to meet you, she can arrive without underwear.”
The Coital Alignment Technique
This one is a modified version of the tried-and-true missionary position, but the acronym for “coital alignment technique” points to the difference. It goes like this: The man positions himself farther up on the woman’s body, with his arms and hands near her head, an adjustment that results in more clitoral grind-age. “This is a female favorite as it allows her to simultaneously squeeze his shaft between her thighs, and grind her clitoris against his pelvic bone,” says O’Reilly.
The Spread Eagle
A position that requires a desk, counter, sink, or similarly hip-high perch. While you stand, the woman sits on the surface and props her ankles on your shoulders or, barring that kind of freaky flexibility, your hips. “The standing partner thrusts while the seated partner grinds rocks and uses their legs to guide the rhythm,” says O’Reilly.
The Reverse Cowgirl 2.0
As with a standard reverse cowgirl, this position asks that you lie down while your partner rides. The modern twist is that you bend your knees, which she can use to support her body weight and “grind against her clitoris and expedite the orgasmic process,” O’Reilly says. As time is of the essence, O’Reilly says to get yourself in the mood before the encounter even starts. “If you wait until you’re in the mood, you may never do it, as sexual desire doesn’t always precede arousal — sometimes it’s the other way around, so get aroused to create desire.”
The Kneel Deal
Kneeling allows a variety of positions, from standard doggy style to froggy style to I-don’t-know-what-this-is-but-damn-it-feels-good. Britton suggests kneeling positions for this and also because they’re ideal for the cramped quarters where quickies often take place. This one is a simple doggy-style variation: Have your partner get on all fours and kneel behind her. Slide your knees under her legs so you’re at a bit more of an angle and place both your hands on her hips as you thrust.
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