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This Ridiculous Michigan Home Is an Oasis For Outdoor Families

This nearly $4 million home is on the market and all we want to do is imagine ourselves living in it.

“Look at this house!” celebrates wildly expensive and wildly enviable family homes the editors of Fatherly really wish they could afford. The real estate market being what it is, that’s not going to happen. But we can still ogle the hell out of these things.

There’s no shortage of waterfront property in Michigan. The state not only borders four of the five Great Lakes, but it also boasts a frankly excessive 64,980 inland lakes. One of those lakes sits behind this not-so-modest 8,664-square-foot family home in Kalamazoo County that looks like what would happen if you tried to interbreed a regional airport and a Beaver Creek ski chalet with the nicest middle school in Orlando — but, you know, in a good way.

The home, which was built in 2012 by someone who clearly had something to prove, features five bedrooms, six bathrooms, and two half bathrooms (yes, that comes to seven bathrooms). There’s a great room with 37-foot ceilings and large windows that look out over the five-acre private pond and in on a gigantic heating bill. There are also two separate garages at the end of a gated driveway that slithers through the woods. And, as if that weren’t enough, there are roughly 47 fireplaces, each nicer than the last. Would you be happier if you lived here? Probably. At the very least, you’d be better looking.

But the attraction here isn’t just the house; it’s Kalamazoo, a regional hub of 76,000 people with a borderline worrisome craft beer habit (seriously, Bell’s Brewery is a scene and a half). The school district is highly-rated and Western Michigan University is nearby, which means there are smart people around the place. There are also a lot of nature trails. Is it cold? You bet your frozen ass it is, but it’s lovely in winter. There’s pond hockey and hot chocolate.

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The average home in Kalamazoo costs somewhere the $100,000 to $200,000 range. The home on the lake? $3.85 million. That’s serious dough, but it’s serious dough in service of a profound statement: “I have lots of money and my 12-year-old has a Ski-Doo.” I mean, just look at this gorgeous thing….