No one likes to be interrupted, least of all during sex. Unfortunately, life doesn’t operate around our intimate moments. Kids wake up, calls come in, and other unpredictable events unfold that take you out of the room and out of the moment.
Getting back to business after an interruption depends on how we handle ourselves during a disruption. And remember, circumstances change. And resuming the action doesn’t necessarily mean picking up where you left off. It’s all about going with the flow. So what can you do? Listed below are a few things to keep in mind next time life comes for you in the middle of sex.
“Back up,” says Kait Scalisi, a pleasure-based sex education and relationship counselor. “For some people with vulvas, getting interrupted causes them to get back in their heads.” Remember, foreplay helps inspire arousal and stimulate lubrication, which is key to satisfying heterosexual sex. “Instead of going right back where you were, start a little earlier, with some deep kisses and caresses,” Scalisi suggests. “Think of it as getting it on twice in one day.”
Talk About It
“Instead of jumping right in, see how they’re feeling,” suggests Scalisi. “You both may want to go back to where you were, slow down, or call it.” If the situation has left you feeling awkward, try throwing a little humor into the mix. “Break the tension,” says Scalisi. “Using a cheesy line like, ‘Where were we’ or waggling your eyebrows can help lighten the atmosphere and open up a dialogue about where you want to go.”
Think of it as a Bonding Opportunity
“Stories like this build intimacy with your partner because you have to problem-solve together and communicate,” says Scalisi. Besides, she says, sexual misadventures provide perfect fodder for an inside joke. “Shift your perspective,” she says. “Is it ideal? No. But it does provide some benefits.”
Maintain A Sense of Humor
Shit happens. Accept it. And try not to let it ruin the mood. Besides, preparing for the unexpected can help ready us for other awkwardly comedic events that that may unfold between the sheets. Like a failing at a new position. And “slipping out.” Or throwing out some dirty phrases that don’t land. At the end of the day, sex should be seen as a comedy, not a tragedy.
Life, as they say, is unpredictable. And when something happens that ruins a sexual encounter, it all comes down to how you react in the moment. “Be open to whatever direction things go in,” says Scalisi. “Maybe the interruption broke the mood. Maybe it didn’t. As long as these big interruptions aren’t a pattern, one time won’t make or break your sex life.”