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That Time I Took My 3-Year-Old To A Battle Reenactment And He Massacred A Dozen Men

Ralf Hüls

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What was an instance when your child made your proud?

We were at a battle reenactment and we have a set piece where children are “killed.”  My son wanted to do it so we said yes, but I played one of the guards to keep an eye on him as he is only 3. He insisted on mustering with us, having his own helmet and sword. Overall, he stood with all the adults for over an hour (that is ages for a 3-year-old) without complaining.

As we walked onto the field, he sang his own theme the entire way. Here he is making his way to the field with us.


When the scenario happened, I was killed first so they could massacre the children. My son saw me being killed, drew his sword, ran over and stabbed the guy who was hitting me. The guy took a death as he was not sure what had happened (he was hit from behind). My son then fought the murder unit single-handedly and only died when my wife (his mother) agreed to die as well so they could have a cuddle on the ground.

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The entire show basically stopped for a few minutes as a dozen medieval soldiers tried to take down a psychotic 3-year-old wielding a wooden sword, guarding his father’s corpse, yelling the battle cry, “Not today, baddy!”

His mother was slightly prouder and just as horrified when he took apart the dual flush mechanism in the toilet at a toddler group he went to the next week!

The entire show basically stopped for a few minutes as a dozen medieval soldiers tried to take down a psychotic 3-year-old wielding a wooden sword

A time before this when he made me proud: he was in his high chair, he must have been about 2. His mother and I were play fighting (we are both medieval combat instructors) and suddenly he shouted:

“Hey! Don’t hit my mummy, okay daddy?”

My wife and I laughed and then I noticed that he was still staring at me.

He repeated: “OKAY, DADDY?!!”

I had to agree (and look serious doing it) to calm him down as he started trying to get out of his high chair.

He could barely walk and he was ready to go toe to toe with a 6’2″, 220-pound adult to protect his mother.  I couldn’t have been more proud of him!

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