The Best Sex Positions for Tired Couples

Feeling frisky but fatigued? Heed this advice.

by Carrie Weisman
Originally Published: 

Someone once said that sex and sleep are the best parts of life. And maybe that’s true. Or maybe it’s not. Either way, we sure do spend a lot of time thinking about these things. According to a survey conducted by psychologists at Ohio State University, men think about sex 34.2 times a today, or about every 28 minutes. Thoughts about sleep, on the other hand, pop up about every 33 minutes.

Still, celebrating these enjoyments can be difficult, especially when they start to compete with one another. Of course, they’re bound to clash every now and then — especially when you have kids who are very good at distracting you from both. Life is hectic. Pillows are soft. But we simply won’t stand for sleeping your way out of good sex. Because sex is important in a good marriage. So how do you have great sex when you and your partner are tired? We asked the experts about the best positions to try out when your eyelids are heavy. Here’s what they said.


“Although simple in nature, cowgirl with her on top is one of the best positions for when you’re tired because it requires minimal effort,” says Mackenzie Riel, advice columnist and sex educator for the adult online retailer, TooTimid. It’s hard not to see the logic behind this suggestion. It’s one of those rare occasions where you can, in fact, just lie there. Of course, that’s not always the way you want to approach sex, but it might just be the best option when both tired and horny.


If both you and your partner are feeling sleepy, you might want to try this one out. Spoon sex allows both parties to remain lying down, which means neither of you will have to exert much effort. It’s also one that lends itself to different paces. If you want to go slow, you can. If things start picking up mid-coitus, well, that’s also an option.


Another positions that keeps you and your partner comfortable. For this one, lie on your side. Your partner, meanwhile, should lie on her back, perpendicular to you. Have her shimmy up towards your pelvis and position her legs over your hips. From there, you know what to do.

Lying Down Oral

“Have her simply lie down on the bed on her back,” suggests Riel. “Lie down on your stomach and position yourself lying down between her legs, you can bring your arms around her legs to bring her in closer for easier access.” Of course, she can also service you in the same way. Again, both parties get to remain relatively comfortable. That’s what you call a win-win.

Toy Around

Now might be a good time to remind readers that sexual pleasure is not always derived from actual sex. Vibrators provide women with far more orgasms than penetration ever has. If your aim is to get your partner off, do yourself a favor and bring in the reinforcements. It will help you get the job done in half the time. “Use the tools to do the work for you,” says Riel.

Try The Tub

Sure, shower sex usually requires careful positioning and planning. For that reason, it doesn’t usually appear as a suggestion for when you’re feeling tired. But if you find ways to pepper sex into your before bed ritual, or your morning routine, well, that’s what you call a two-for. You’re going to have to shower at some point, sleepy or not. You may as well bring some eroticism into it.

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