Young people don’t own sex, but they do tend to have more of it. Studies show that sex starts to decline after around 40. The reasons why will vary. For women, widowhood can become a significant factor. Of course, hormonal changes can drastically affect libido in both men and women. As men age, testosterone tends to dip and dull sexual performance. Changes in estrogen levels can make sexual desire more difficult to achieve, and sexual response more difficult to inspire.
Limited mobility is yet another contributor to the age-related sexual lull. According to a survey put together by LELO, one of the world’s leading providers of intimate lifestyle products, 84 percent of men and 73 percent of women report a significant decrease in sexual frequency when they’re suffering from back pain. Unfortunately, the aches and pains we experience as we age can often keep us away from sex. And in an even crueler twist of fate, sometimes its sex itself that contributes to these injuries. That’s why it’s important we remain mindful about how we attempt the act. Because getting older doesn’t have to lead to less sex. But it might require some tweaks in our approach. Listed below is a friendly guide to low-impact positions to employ as we age.
“One of the best sex positions for aging is anything that takes weight and pressure off the joints,” says Kayla Lords, resident sexpert over at Jack and Jill Adult. Spooning, she says, is a good option. “Both partners lie on their side with their weight fully supported by their bed. This is great for penetration or for caresses.” If you’re looking to heighten the experience, think about bringing in some toys. “Cock rings can help people with penises maintain erections,” she says. “Vibrators can add additional stimulation to the clitoris or g-spot.”
While this one certainly isn’t great for anyone with back issues, it is a good option for those suffering from hip pain. For those who aren’t in the know, this position requires the woman to get on her knees, facing away from her partner. The male party can then enter her from behind. The position also provides the extra benefit of easy stimulation to the G-spot. To help provide more leverage and relieve some pressure on the arms, have your partner put a few pillows underneath her torso. With that, you should both be good to go.
If age-related aches and pains tend to affect one partner more than the other, then the more mobile of the two should probably take the reins. If that individual happens to be your lady, let her climb on top. “The partner being penetrated can control the angle and speed, while their partner doesn’t have to hold themselves up or place weight on their knees or hands,” says Danny Garrett, sexual health expert for The Enhanced Male, an online retailer of male enhancement products. Of course, if you happen to be the more limber one, try enacting the reverse, also know as “missionary.”
Don’t let the name deceive you. The “time bomb” is actually one of the lowest-impact positions on the list. Unlike the other suggestions that appear on the list, this one involves a prop. Get yourself a chair. Take a seat, and allow your partner to climb into your lap, straddling you. If she needs some more leverage and support, allow her to rest her arms on your shoulders. Because the angle allows for more grinding than thrusting, it’s a good option for anyone suffering from fatigue or joint pain.
“Experimenting not only with positions but kinds of sex can really help,” says Daire Faust, a sex toy reviewer and sex blogger. “Mutual masturbation is a fabulous way to enjoy sex with a partner when one or more are having any sort of fatigue or pain problems. This way, you get off, know what feels good, can turn each other on with a show, and can concentrate on connecting without pressure, physically or mentally.”