Being unnecessarily aggressive. Belittling others to make himself seem strong. Refusing to listen to any advice because he considers himself the smartest in the room. Feeling the need to “out expert” others to assert dominance or demonstrate his intelligence in a situation.
Hang around a guy who exhibits any of these behaviors and chances are you’ll think to yourself, what a douche. You understand that these behaviors are annoying at best and toxic at worst, and that we should all work to understand and admit when we might be guilty of them. That’s how we keep ourselves in check; that’s how we become better friends, co-workers, and people in general.
As knowing is half the battle, there’s worth in reading a recent reddit thread in which u/Pitiful_Airline1092 asked “Men of Reddit, what pisses you off about other men?” The original post garnered thousands of responses and the comments all speak to behaviors that have their roots in insecurity and general stubbornness. Here are some of the more popular responses, each of which received thousands of upvotes apiece.
- “The guys who have to be the alpha. They usually start asserting their dominance when they give you a handshake that turns your knuckles white. Then it progresses to invading your personal space while puffing their chest out…” —u/Sad-Information-4713
- “Having to know EVERYTHING, or out-expert each other. When did it become “unmanly” to say ‘I don’t know”?’ — u/saywhaaaaaaaa.
- “The phenomenon of men agreeing with each other by going “NOT ONLY THAT, BUT (8 paragraph long diatribe)” is hilarious to me and I’ve done it so goddamn much myself. We all want the last word and the hottest take. I think it’s easy to be insecure and if your intelligence is ever praised then maybe you’re more likely to want to make sure the world knows you’re knowledgeable?” — u/MMGeoff.
- “Dudes who would rather put you down for not knowing every single detail about something rather than genuinely trying to help teach others and spread information. And if they do manage to give a hell to help, they for whatever reason, have to have this demeaning, belittling tone.” — u/EtherealOmni
- “When we shut each other down Instead of building each other up and think it’s cool and okay. I’ve been guilty of it too but am trying to be better.” —u/SOAL92
- “I just hate some men who, when in a group, keep trying to establish dominance. They usually do that by being loud, interrupting people and laughing at you, instead of laughing with you.” — Tropical_Geek1
- “Guys who peacock their extravagant purchases.” u/Fuddyu
- “Men not supporting other men emotionally, even when it doesn’t seem like they need it. Every man needs emotional support, especially from other men.” — u/BigFuckHead_
It’s plain to see why these answers were up-voted by so many users. Each refers to behaviors that, for reasons due to insecurity or — let’s face it — general assholery, seek to demean or belittle. Who among us hasn’t been in a situation where someone exhibits this behavior? But also, who among us hasn’t been guilty of some version of this, whether we realized it or not? It’s a good reminder to keep ourselves in check — and that, no, you’re not the only one who sounds the douchebag alarm when this behavior takes place.