If we were to follow what we see of great sex on screen, it would seem the louder, the better. Moans. Grunts. Screams. But not everyone has a flair for the dramatic. Or maybe more to the point, not everyone has the luxury of being loud during sex, least of all those who have kids sleeping down the hall. But having quiet sex doesn’t mean you have to ditch the heat. In fact, leaving theatricality out of the bedroom can even enhance the experience.
“Studies show, at the core, the best sex is about the connection between the people involved,” says New York City sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D. “Being forced to stay quiet due to children may allow couples to focus back on basics.” Eye gazing, deep breathing, and sensual touch are all fundamental elements of intimacy. And as it so happens, none of them require us to make much noise. Here then are six quiet sex positions to help keep the intimacy up without waking the kids.
READ MORE: The Fatherly Guide to Sex After Kids
The About Face
“Face-to-face positions let you occupy your mouths with kissing, which may stifle the tendency to shout out,” says Queen. “It’s also very sexy and intimate.” Such is the case with this position, which is basically the inverse of the spooning position. You’re both still on your sides, but this time, you’re facing each other.
The Stand and Deliver
One of the most common culprits of noisy sex is a squeaky bed. If you’re looking to quiet things down, think about getting it on outside the sheets. Have your partner station his or her hands against the wall. You can enter them from behind and feel around from there.
The Side Position
Also known as the king of lazy sex positions (you remember lazy Sundays don’t you?), spooning is ideal for sex on the quieter side. Have your partner lay on their side while you snuggle up behind them. In this position, you can enter your partner easily, without much thrusting involved. By nature, the position allows for a very slow pace, which always helps keep the noise down.
The Old Favorite
Missionary position can be a great way to get it on without making much noise, so long as you make sure to slow things down. Try grinding together instead of thrusting. That way, you can avoid the distinctive slap of your bodies slamming together. And while it often gets a bad rap, missionary also carries an extra perk for the ladies involved. “When you add close body movement to intercourse, you often get more clitoral stimulation, often,” says Carol Queen, Ph.D, resident sexologist at intimacy site Good Vibrations.
The Silent Squat
Position yourself against the headboard with your legs outstretched. Then, have your partner lower him or herself into your lap, keeping their feet flat against the mattress. They’ll control the pacing by bobbing up and down on you. Less thrusting = less noise.
Because this position doesn’t revolve around penetration, you don’t have to worry about all the noise a thrust can carry. But experts agree that the carnal configuration belongs in every couple’s repertoire. Plus, it’s going to keep your mouths occupied, leaving little room for noise to escape. The carnal configuration is beneficial to both parties and can be done with you on the bottom, top, or side-to-side positions.