When you’re married with kids, flirting can easily become a vestigial trait. Like putting copious amounts of gel in your hair or using too much body spray, it can be viewed as something you once did when dating but don’t anymore. Your relationship is different now. But, the thing is, flirting is an easy way to playfully express love, desire, and admiration for someone. It’s especially so, for those who are knee-deep in the hectic, messy world of raising kids where the distance between who you once were and who you are can seem vast.
So, flirt more. Because, first of all, it’s fun to dust off that skill. And two, done right, it’ll make your partner feel good. Or, yes, roll their eyes. But that’s also fine. Flirting is cheesy and silly but that’s part of the joy. It snaps us out of the present and reminds you, that you are two people who find each other attractive. And an easy way to do it is to send flirty texts. Texting is a great forum for flirtation because it can be done from anywhere and a funny, flirty text is a great change-up from the normal “Hey can you grab X from the grocery store?”
According to Stephanie Mintz, M.A., LMFT, flirting is more than just talking about sex. “It’s about making the other person feel good based on how intimately you know them,” she says. “You know your partner inside and out, so flirting over text is a way you can let your partner know that you’re thinking of her during the craziness of the day, remind her of her attractiveness, and remind her how much she means to you.”
20 Flirty Texts to Send Your Partner
Looking for inspiration? Here are 20 flirty texts to consider sending your partner. Some are sexy, some are fun, all are simple, cheesy, and intended to liven things up a bit.
- I’m about to suds up the dishes, want to come watch?
- That dress you wore a week ago…can you put it on tonight?
- I’ve been thinking about you all day.
- I’ll make the bed this morning, if we can mess it up later.
- Even at this party, I can’t take my eyes off of you.
- I got the kids. You get some wine.
- You. Me. Nap?
- You make it look easy, and look good doing it.
- Who wore it better? You always wear it better.
- I know you just left, but I can’t wait until you come back.
- I had a dream about you last night…
- Meet me in the bedroom later?
- What are you wearing?
- Are you my lost charger? ‘Cause I’m dying without you.
- You’re an amazing kisser.
- I love the outfit you had on today. How fast do you think it comes off?
- Counting the minutes until I see you again…
- Hey, gorgeous.
- I’m trying to concentrate on work, but all I can think about is you.
Before You Hit Send…
Remember, even though people rarely go anywhere without their phones, they do have responsibilities during the day. If you know your partner’s routine, you may know when they’re more likely to see your text and respond to it, rather than leave you on “read”. If you catch them during one of these moments, it could lead to a brief, pleasantly surprising conversation that provides the levity you both need. On the other hand, if you know they’re in an important meeting, you can avoid making her blush or giggle at the wrong time.
Try catching her off guard with a flirty text when you’re both home, or at a party together. You can see her reaction in real-time, and gauge whether or not texting is a viable way for you to communicate as a couple.
Keep in mind your prowess as a texter, too. Texting is a black-and-white medium, meaning that you’re responsible for what you write, but it may be interpreted differently than intended. If you and your partner are savvy texters, you probably know how to convey sarcasm, silliness, and sexuality in your own unique ways.
Conversely, if you or your partner regularly struggle to translate texts properly, you might benefit from a conversation about trying something new while being supportive and open about how flirty texting makes (or doesn’t make) you feel.
In other words, do what works for your relationship. The whole point is to express attraction and appreciation. Keep that as your guiding principle and you’ll be on your way.