9 Epic Dad Fails That Are Actually Wins

Here's to you, Embarrassing-Your-Kid-At-A-Concert Guy.

by Mike Jordan
Originally Published: 
A dad holding his son and eating a hamburger with ketchup spilled over the toddler's face

Of all the gifts fatherhood provides, perhaps none is greater than this: The older your kids get, the more your catastrophic blunders will shame and embarrass them, and the less those blunders will shame and embarrass you. Take the following dad “fails” — watch them closely and then admit: they’re kinda, sorta dad wins, aren’t they?

Perfect example of a dad fail that’s actually a win. Guess who doesn’t care what he looks like? The guy on the left. Guess who can’t get over what the guy on the left looks like? The kid on the right. Hats off to you, Electronic Music Festival Dad. Never change.

First of all, give credit where it’s due: that’s a great shot. Second, the kid knew it was coming — sure he blew it, but his arms are on the way up when he takes the shot to the face. Third, he did make the save. And, finally, admit that if you were this guy and had this shot on camera, you’d be a least a little proud of yourself.

Don’t judge before considering: what did the screen door do to deserve this? You’ve been there, and more likely than not with some kid-related product that you couldn’t show what’s what without making the kid cry. In this case, it’s a victimless crime (unless that screen door has a family).

Ten years from now, his kids won’t remember that their dad stage dived straight to concrete; they’ll remember that he got tricked into stage diving at all by Flo-Rida. And that’s going to hurt worse than the concrete ever did.

Now that you’re done laughing, admit that this guy got set the f–k up. The kid in back is wearing safety goggles, and both the chubby kid and the birthday boy clearly knew the cue because they’re out of the frame before the poor bastard’s hair gets sauteed. Anyone who thinks kids aren’t naturally cruel has never been this guy.

Don’t worry about the girl — whatever she suffered is probably nothing compared to what her dad suffered at the hands of her mom. Also, worry about the little brother, standing up there watching the whole thing like Damien in The Omen.

Again, the kid’s probably bruised up after this, but kids have green bones and magic healing powers. Meanwhile, imagine the shape this poor bastard is in after sleeping every night on what appears to be a seesaw.

This is how a dad rolls. Epic coordination across the board, pro-level swag in those stickers, and a daughter (lower left) who’s clearly appalled and has 10 times as much of what pop lacks: shame.

Only a father could turn a drunken wedding fail into a brilliantly illustrated explanation of why you should never let a bartender over-serve you, followed by a Jedi-like recovery if they do. Watch and learn, girls.

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