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Shocking Report On Sleep Reveals That Too Little Of It Makes You Grumpy

A new study by wearable tech manufacturer Jawbone purports to have identified the “right” amount of sleep for the average person. The company analyzed data from hundreds of thousands of customers wearing its UP activity tracker, who also entered their mood on a scale of 1-to-10, and claims its conclusions are drawn from over 80 million nights of sleep and 5.6 million mood entries. So, Jawbone’s earth-shattering conclusion, sure rewrite everything you thought you knew about sleep?

You need between 8 and 9.5 hours of sleep a night.

Jawbone sleep study

Go ahead and put your coffee back in your mouth before hearing more of the report’s shocking assertions: An extra hour of sleep equates to at least a 5 percent improvement in mood, people’s moods tend to improve around 5 PM on weekdays and … wait for it … people are happier on weekends than on weekdays.

Really, the only particularly novel conclusion the report draws is that 2 hours of lost sleep is more detrimental to your mood than 2 hours of gained sleep is positive. That might lead you to work harder at getting a bit more sleep, until you remember that you’re a parent and haven’t had any control over how much sleep you get since the kid was born.

Jawbone sleep study

Jawbone promises more data stories as they “dig deeper into the data set,” to which parents everywhere issued a collective shrug.