Introducing The League of Extraordinary Mohels

The fine folks at JTA.org recently did a roundup of “America’s Top Mohels,” profiling some of the most capable men (and one woman) to turn to when a simple circumcision isn’t enough. Whether you want the little man done in accordance with three millennia of Jewish tradition, or you just figure that someone who snips with God is less distracted than your average maternity ward doctor, here’s who you want to call.

1. FRED KOGEN: THE LEADING MAN

• Snipped Tips: ~8,000
• Region: Southern California
• Time: 60 seconds or less
• Anesthesia: Elamax cream and infant Tylenol.
• Price: Varies
• Intangibles: Mohel to the stars, including Jason Alexander, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Sharon Stone; once named Cosmopolitan Magazine’s “Bachelor Of The Month.”

2. MICHAEL ROVINSKY: THE COWBOY CLIPPER

• Snipped Tips: ~9,000
• Region: St. Louis and Dallas
• Time: Less than 15 seconds
• Anesthesia: On request but not recommended
• Price: Suggested honorarium
• Intangibles: Uses a numbing agent and healing ointment concocted by the Chief Mohel of Israel.

3. PHILIP SHERMAN: THE STRAIGHT MAN

• Snipped Tips: 20,000+
• Region: New York City
• Time: 15-20 seconds
• Anesthesia: No
• Price: $800
• Intangibles: Refuses to indulge the common mohel penchant for puns and humor during the ceremony: “What, no tip?”

4. YEHUDA LEBOVICS: THE FREQUENT FLYER

• Snipped Tips: ~20,000
• Region: Southwest, Northwest, California, Hawaii
• Time: 20 seconds
• Anesthesia: Sugar water
• Price: From $685
• Intangibles: No days off; will fly to Hawaii and head back to Los Angeles as soon as the deed is done.

5. EMILY BLAKE: THE QUEEN B(RIS)

• Snipped Tips: NA
• Region: New York City
• Time: 60 seconds
• Anesthesia: Lidocaine cream, Manischewitz, sugar
• Price: $850
• Intangibles: Continuing a tradition started when Moses’ wife Tziporah circumcised her son.

6. PASACK KROHN: THE SWAT CIRCUMCISER

• Snipped Tips: “The Talmud says a person should not count.”
• Region: New York Metro Area
• Time: NA
• Anesthesia: Upon request
• Price: $500 – $800
• Intangibles: Circumcised Senator Joe Lieberman’s grandson at gun point; fifth generation mohel.

7.MAX MINTZ: THE LONE STAR SNIPPER

• Snipped Tips: ~10,000
• Region: Texas
• Time: 60 seconds
• Anesthesia: Yes
• Price: $300 – $350
• Intangibles: Known throughout Texas simply as “The Guy,” regularly crisscrosses the state serving communities without mohels (read: most of them).