How To Get Pope Francis To Bless Your Child

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He’s here, folks! Pope Francis, aka the most popular Christian since Jesus, is in the midst of his first ever visit to the U.S., which means you have less than 6 days to get to D.C., New York, or Philly and snag yourself an elusive papal baby blessing. Considering the last papal visit happened 16 years ago, this is probably Junior’s only shot. So how do you get the pontiff’s attention amidst the hordes of believers, security detail, and homeless people he’ll be lunching with on Thursday? Try exploiting His Holiness’ narcissism, like this wickedly brilliant Italian mother did during a Carnival celebration. Then start praying for forgiveness.

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