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11 Valentine’s Day Gifts That Make You The World’s Most Thoughtful Guy

Even if you’re in possession of a signed affidavit that reads: “We are not exchanging Valentine’s Day gifts this year,” you still have to get your partner a Valentine’s Day gift. Sorry, but no lawyer in the country can argue against that one. And at $500 an hour, they’d also advise that flowers and a card don’t count. Here are the best Valentine’s Day gifts that show how much you care about your partner, and not just about a Hallmark holiday in February.

Toast Shearling Slippers

Toast Shearling Slippers -- valentine's day gifts

She gets warm, cozy feet that feel like walking on air. You get out of giving foot massages while watching Fixer Upper. It’s a win-win. So much so that you may consider these 100-percent shearling wool foot-warmers with suede inner and cushioned sole as a gift to yourself.

Buy Now $110

Maison Louis Marie Candle

Maison Louis Marie Candle -- valentine's day gifts

No ordinary ho-hum jar of melting wax, this fancy candle from MLM is described like a bottle of fine wine would be. Seriously, read it: “The fruity fragrance begins with a black pepper note enhanced by bergamot & cassis … dries down to a warm oakmoss, tonka and clean musk base.” Huh … like the toy trucks? And you thought it was just a burning flame that would help you get laid on Valentine’s Day.

Buy Now $34

Fatherly IQ
  1. What is the main reason you play games?
    To learn or teach skills
    To have fun and entertain
    To bond and get together
    To take a break from TV
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Beef Jerky Flowers

Beef Jerky Flowers -- valentine's day gifts

For that special someone who prefers beer and beef to blooms and blossoms, these tasty bouquets of roses (and daisies) are made in the heartland from a half pound of 100 percent beef jerky. They come in three flavors (original, teriyaki, or peppered) and in one of the only 2 types of “vases” you had in your apartment before you got married — a pint glass or beer mug.

Buy Now $35

Letterfolk Writer Grey Letter Board

Letterfolk Writer Grey Letter Board -- valentine's day gifts

Give your wife the Valentine’s Day gift of not having to answer the same question a thousand times from every member of the family. Whether it’s “What’s for dinner on Tuesday?”, “Am I cleaning the bathroom this week?”, or “What are the readings at Sunday’s 11 AM service?” she can display the answers to all the relevant household questions (or just her favorite Successories quotes) on this handsome 16-inch by 20-inch gray felt letter board with light oak frame and 290-piece letter/number set.

Buy Now $125

Everlane 100% Human Sweatshirt

Everlane 100% Human Sweatshirt -- valentine's day gifts

No matter how stylish the design, a shirt that reads “100% Human” could be misinterpreted. As in, “I understand, honey, you’re only human.” But that’s not the point of this classic brushed fleece crew sweatshirt targeted toward the socially conscious set; it’s designed to support human rights and remind us all that we’re “more the same than we are different.” Even if some of us are better at getting the kids up and out the door than others. On second thought, maybe you should just etch the word “Super” before “human” with a Sharpie before you wrap it.

Buy Now $50

Herschel Novel Duffle

Herschel Novel Duffle -- valentine's day gifts

You just booked a romantic weekend away, no kids allowed. Now go the extra mile and surprise her by packing this cloud pink Novel Duffle from Herschel and have it waiting by the door. It features an internal mesh storage pocket (for the nice underwear), signature shoe compartment (for the sexy shoes), and leather handles (for you to carry it around).

Buy Now $55

Eberjey Gisele Short PJ Set

Eberjey Gisele Short PJ Set -- valentine's day gifts

Thus PJ set just happens to be named Gisele — which means there’s a chance you’ll be reminding your wife she is much sexier than Tom Brady’s spouse. The shorts are appropriately skimpy, and the notched-collar shirt with chest pocket pretty much says, let’s get down to business. And if she wants to call you the greatest quarterback of all time this Valentine’s Day, you won’t complain.

Buy Now $80-$136

Lavender Himalayan Coarse Bath Salts

Lavender Himalayan Coarse Bath Salts -- valentine's day gifts

Twenty minutes of peace and quiet. No screaming babies. No kids knocking on the bathroom door. Just a glass of wine and a hot tub filled with aromatic bath salts that claim to do everything from “prevent muscle soreness and regulate sleep” to “improve the texture, tone, and appearance of her skin.” Just don’t ruin it by doing something stupid like using the toilet next to her.

Buy Now $15

The Olmstead With Ferns

The Olmstead With Ferns -- valentine's day gifts

The problem with flowers is that they always die. Plants, on the other hand, only sometimes die. And that’s usually because you forgot to water them while you were on vacation. Or just sitting around at home. These easy-to-care-for ferns from The Sill (your choice of Platycerium Lemoine, Asplenium Nidus, or Australian Crocodile) require little light and even less water, so even the brownest of thumbs should have trouble doing them in this Valentine’s Day.

Buy Now $48

The Mothers: A Novel

The Mothers: A Novel -- valentine's day gifts

Perhaps best combined with the bath salts, The Mothers is a powerful New York Times best-seller from first-time novelist Brit Bennett about a young woman’s experience with her mom’s suicide, an unplanned pregnancy, and other difficult life events. It’s all deep stuff, but it’s getting rave reviews and will no doubt capture the attention of any bookworm mom eager to read more than a few Internet articles on her phone during nap time.

Buy Now $11

Electric Objects Digital Art

Electric Objects Digital Art -- valentine's day gifts

What’s better than giving your art-loving spouse a cool framed painting for Valentine’s Day? How about giving her 30,000 cool framed paintings? EO2 is a matte-finish, 1080p HD “digital art display” and $10-a-month subscription service that lets you change the art on your walls like you were a museum curator. There are 5 frames (black aluminum, maple, walnut, etc.) and 30,000 works from which to choose using the accompanying smartphone app. Or keep it simple and throw up the shot of your toddler eating dirt that got 200 “Likes” on Facebook.

Buy Now $442

Need more ideas? See the Best Valentine’s Day Gifts Of 2016