Even if you’re in possession of a signed affidavit that reads: “We are not exchanging Valentine’s Day gifts this year,” you still have to get your partner a Valentine’s Day gift. Sorry, but no lawyer in the country can argue against that one. And at $500 an hour, they’d also advise that flowers and a card don’t count. Here are the best Valentine’s Day gifts that show how much you care about your partner, and not just about a Hallmark holiday in February.
Toast Shearling Slippers
She gets warm, cozy feet that feel like walking on air. You get out of giving foot massages while watching Fixer Upper. It’s a win-win. So much so that you may consider these 100-percent shearling wool foot-warmers with suede inner and cushioned sole as a gift to yourself.
Maison Louis Marie Candle
No ordinary ho-hum jar of melting wax, this fancy candle from MLM is described like a bottle of fine wine would be. Seriously, read it: “The fruity fragrance begins with a black pepper note enhanced by bergamot & cassis … dries down to a warm oakmoss, tonka and clean musk base.” Huh … like the toy trucks? And you thought it was just a burning flame that would help you get laid on Valentine’s Day.
Beef Jerky Flowers
For that special someone who prefers beer and beef to blooms and blossoms, these tasty bouquets of roses (and daisies) are made in the heartland from a half pound of 100 percent beef jerky. They come in three flavors (original, teriyaki, or peppered) and in one of the only 2 types of “vases” you had in your apartment before you got married — a pint glass or beer mug.
Letterfolk Writer Grey Letter Board
Give your wife the Valentine’s Day gift of not having to answer the same question a thousand times from every member of the family. Whether it’s “What’s for dinner on Tuesday?”, “Am I cleaning the bathroom this week?”, or “What are the readings at Sunday’s 11 AM service?” she can display the answers to all the relevant household questions (or just her favorite Successories quotes) on this handsome 16-inch by 20-inch gray felt letter board with light oak frame and 290-piece letter/number set.
Everlane 100% Human Sweatshirt
No matter how stylish the design, a shirt that reads “100% Human” could be misinterpreted. As in, “I understand, honey, you’re only human.” But that’s not the point of this classic brushed fleece crew sweatshirt targeted toward the socially conscious set; it’s designed to support human rights and remind us all that we’re “more the same than we are different.” Even if some of us are better at getting the kids up and out the door than others. On second thought, maybe you should just etch the word “Super” before “human” with a Sharpie before you wrap it.
Herschel Novel Duffle
You just booked a romantic weekend away, no kids allowed. Now go the extra mile and surprise her by packing this cloud pink Novel Duffle from Herschel and have it waiting by the door. It features an internal mesh storage pocket (for the nice underwear), signature shoe compartment (for the sexy shoes), and leather handles (for you to carry it around).
Eberjey Gisele Short PJ Set
Thus PJ set just happens to be named Gisele — which means there’s a chance you’ll be reminding your wife she is much sexier than Tom Brady’s spouse. The shorts are appropriately skimpy, and the notched-collar shirt with chest pocket pretty much says, let’s get down to business. And if she wants to call you the greatest quarterback of all time this Valentine’s Day, you won’t complain.
Lavender Himalayan Coarse Bath Salts
Twenty minutes of peace and quiet. No screaming babies. No kids knocking on the bathroom door. Just a glass of wine and a hot tub filled with aromatic bath salts that claim to do everything from “prevent muscle soreness and regulate sleep” to “improve the texture, tone, and appearance of her skin.” Just don’t ruin it by doing something stupid like using the toilet next to her.
The Olmstead With Ferns
The problem with flowers is that they always die. Plants, on the other hand, only sometimes die. And that’s usually because you forgot to water them while you were on vacation. Or just sitting around at home. These easy-to-care-for ferns from The Sill (your choice of Platycerium Lemoine, Asplenium Nidus, or Australian Crocodile) require little light and even less water, so even the brownest of thumbs should have trouble doing them in this Valentine’s Day.
The Mothers: A Novel
Perhaps best combined with the bath salts, The Mothers is a powerful New York Times best-seller from first-time novelist Brit Bennett about a young woman’s experience with her mom’s suicide, an unplanned pregnancy, and other difficult life events. It’s all deep stuff, but it’s getting rave reviews and will no doubt capture the attention of any bookworm mom eager to read more than a few Internet articles on her phone during nap time.
Electric Objects Digital Art
What’s better than giving your art-loving spouse a cool framed painting for Valentine’s Day? How about giving her 30,000 cool framed paintings? EO2 is a matte-finish, 1080p HD “digital art display” and $10-a-month subscription service that lets you change the art on your walls like you were a museum curator. There are 5 frames (black aluminum, maple, walnut, etc.) and 30,000 works from which to choose using the accompanying smartphone app. Or keep it simple and throw up the shot of your toddler eating dirt that got 200 “Likes” on Facebook.
Need more ideas? See the Best Valentine’s Day Gifts Of 2016