Being a dad is all about sacrifice. Specifically, giving up your home office or your favorite toys to make way for Junior’s endless pile of stuff. Your stellar ability to keep said child alive does merit some form of reward, but if that excuse won’t fly with your spouse, try the one your mother-in-law uses to stuff your kid’s closet full of clothes that don’t fit: they’ll grow into it eventually. Or don’t make an excuse at all and just keep playing with the best toys for dads. Remember, it’s the kid’s job to grow up, not yours.
M1A2 Abrams Airsoft RC Tank
This realistic, scale replica of the Army’s and Marine Corps’ primary tank emits smoke and realistic sound effects and recoils when the 320-degree rotating turret blasts BBs upwards of 25 meters. The toy is no joke, so none is needed to convince you that you want it, but yeah, the neighbor kids will learn to drive their RC cars in reverse right quick when they see dad coming.
Behold, the Pocket Shot: the circular, modern upgrade to the toy your mom dedicated her life to prevent you from obtaining. Dennis the Menace has nothing on this thing, whose accuracy is exceeded only by the terror it inflicts on tin cans and squirrels — the toy fires projectiles up to 350 feet per second. Did they mention it also shoots arrows? Yes, yes they did. Who wants to play William Tell?