6 Pieces Of Star Wars Gear Your Kids Don’t Know They Want (And 4 For You)
The force is about to awaken, but the product placement has been up and at it for months now. You already know about the majesty that is Sphero BB-8 and have probably seen a commercial or 12 with Stormtroopers and droids urging you to buy everything from nail polish to chicken and bacon ranch foot longs. But despite the nearly ubiquitous marketing effort, a Jabba the Hutt-sized bounty says there are still a few items in the Star Wars licensed merchandise universe that have managed to slip past your radar, or, uh, tractor beam. Whether you’re looking to outfit your kid for their first midnight premiere or you just can’t help yourself, here are 10 of the more alien* pieces of Star Wars gear you can buy.
* Shoot puns, not light bolt blaster guns.
For The Kids
Boba Fett A-10 BackpackNixon’s entire Star Wars collection is great, but only one piece has a Han Solo frozen in carbonite zipper pull. Classic Fett, stealing glory from clearly superior castmates. This distressed PU coated canvas pack features Fett’s helmet insignia and Mandalorian colors, and has space and pockets for everything young intergalactic bounty hunters need to carry. They’ll be the coolest kid in class, even if they barely speak and have the lamest scene in the school play.
Star Wars x Nixon Boba Fett A-10 Backpack ($175)
Death Star Waffle MakerSure, it would have made the Death Star schematics a lot easier to obtain, but you have to figure Darth Vader would have won way more converts to the Dark Side if he’d been serving up these fluffy, delicious waffles. “I am your father … which is why I made you this tasty breakfast.” Its only flaw: if a particular crevice becomes clogged with syrup, the tractor beam won’t fire.
Star Wars Death Star Waffle Maker ($40)
R2-D2 AquariumThey’ll put a Star Wars character on just about anything; this aquarium is the rarer instance where they’ll put anything into a Star Wars character. It has a 1.75-gallon tank, rotating, beep-boop-ing head, and periscope disguised as Artoo’s radar eye. Sadly, it appears Old Republic technology wasn’t advanced enough to automatically feed your fish. Strange, considering this model automatically feeds you beer. So that’s the droid you were looking for …
The R2-D2 Aquarium ($80)
Chewbacca And Darth Vader Bedding SetsOf course a Dutch company (whose name means “Snore”) is behind these hilarious duvet cover and pillowcase sets that entice your kid to voluntarily get in bed by transforming them into a Sith Lord or the Millennium Falcon’s co-pilot. Before you complain that it doesn’t come in adult sheet sizes, remember that your partner already shares the bed with a gross, hairy Wookiee.
Snurk Star Wars Bedding ($90)
Wampa RugIf you can’t quite put your finger on what your kid’s room has been missing all this time, here’s your answer: the stretched out hide of a vanquished space yeti from the frozen tundras of Hoth. It’s more than 10 square feet of faux fur with a plush head and claws and cling grip on the bottom that really ties the room together. Does it not?
Wampa Rug ($150)
Darth Vader Voice Changer HelmetYour kid is already the tiny overlord of your life, bending your will to their every demand through the power of the dark side … and imperial tantrums. There’s really nothing left but for them to look and sound the part. Button-activated sound effects will alert you to their presence, and an adjustable strap ensures they’ll be able to continue ruling your home as they grow.
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Darth Vader Voice Changer Helmet ($32)
Han Cholo JewelryLike lingerie on Valentine’s day, these handcrafted, sterling silver and 14k gold-plated vermeil rings, pendants, and earrings are actually a gift for both you and your wife. Because what’s sexier than a woman wearing a pair of lightsaber stud earrings or Wicket the Ewok pendant?
Han Cholo Jewelry Star Wars Collection ($30 And Up)
Beer SteinsUnless you’re ready to drop $8,000 on the aforementioned Artoo unit, a stein shaped like Chewie, Boba Fett, Vader, or R2D2 is as close as you’ll get to having a Star Wars cast member bring you a beer. If everyone had been sharing from these beautiful, high-quality ceramic 22-ouncers at the Mos Eisley Cantina, maybe Han wouldn’t have had to shoot first.
Star Wars Beer Steins ($50 Each)
KUT KnivesYou already know how Han felt about lightsabers — imagine what he’d say if saw you whip out a folding pocketknife in battle. Still, these WKRMN KUT knives feature super-sharp, 2.5″ Svörd blades with stainless steel pivots, so they’re legitimately badass enough to overcome the fact that they’re decorated to pay homage to nerd icons like Luke Skywalker and Yoda.
KUT Star Wars Knives ($225)
Devon WatchWith 350+ individual pieces, 4 motors, 4 fiberglass-reinforced nylon belts, and 313 electrical contacts, this truly is the Death Star of watches. Only 500 are being produced, with dramatic, angular details reflecting TIE Fighters and Darth Vader’s armor, and some of the most powerful materials on the planet comprising them: 316L stainless steel and scratch-resistant polycarbonate with bulletproof durability. Yes, bulletproof. Sounds like someone could have used one of these during a certain Rebellion…
Devon Star Wars Watch ($28,500)