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I Am Rubber, You're Screwed

Win The Next Office Rubber Band Fight With This Gatling Gun

Once upon a time, a well-aimed rubber band flicked off your thumb was the single most satisfying way to inflict a bit of mostly harmless but highly annoying pain on an unsuspecting younger sibling or cubicle mate. However, as with foam darts and water balloons, your erstwhile office supply projectile of choice has been fully automated for your kid, who is by now amassing a seriously intimidating toy armory.

fatherly_rubber_band_machine_gunBehold, the Rubber Band Machine Gun. Part playground menace, part handsome mantle trophy for your favorite design snob, the birchwood gatling gun carries 672 rubber band rounds on 16 separate barrels that all rotate around a single cylinder — in 3 stylish finishes. One trigger push activates the AA battery-powered motor to rain elastic hellfire on any battalion of plastic green army men who dare to rebel. Your kid will smite them with a barrage of nearly 14 rubber bands per second from up to 26 feet away. That’s some nice smitin’, Junior.

fatherly_rubber_band_machine_gunIf you’re thinking your kid lacks the patience and/or sideburns to endure what surely must be a Civil War musket-like reloading process, relax. After blowing past his $5,000 Kickstarter goal and collecting nearly $150,000 from 1,100+ eager backers, Ukranian student Alex Shpetniy recognized their battles would be won and lost during the critical moments between volleys. So he whipped up the nifty Fast Charger to let users reload 40 elastics with the flick of a wrist, which sure beats launching a single rubber band at a time with one.

Rubber Band Machine Gun ($100 and up)
Fast Charger ($15)

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