Poo-nicorns Are Adorable Stuffed Unicorns That Look Like Crap

Why do they exist? Who knows. But your kid will probably want one.

by Dave Baldwin

Sometimes a toy comes along that captures the imaginations of kids the world over. And other times, a random toy company drops a plush pile of poop that looks like a unicorn and calls it a day. Today, it’s the latter: Poo-nicorns are a brand new line of collectible squish and stuffed animals that combine all the finest attributes of both unicorns and poop, specifically, the poop emoji.

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Now, it’s entirely possible that Poo-nicorns are about to take the planet by storm. Kids will beg for them. Adults will collect them. Some, even weirder adults, will start Bronie-inspired online fan clubs. You can see endless possibilities, right? (no?) There’s also a good chance crates of these things get shipped back to sender when Toys ‘R Us finally closes its doors after a failed Chapter 11 reorg. Really, flip a coin.

That said, the company behind them, Fun2Play Toys, has already unveiled an online Poo-nicorn game for kids and announced that both a comic and web series are in the works. There’s reportedly going to be a magical world known as Poonicornicopia, and parents should expect to see Poo-nicorn sleepwear in stores by Christmas ⏤ so make a note on the holiday shopping list.

For now though, there are three product lines available at Toys ‘R Us: Poo-nicorn Plushiez, stuffed dolls available in neon colors and three sizes (3.5-inch, 6-inch, and 14-inch); Poo-nicorn Squishiez, a 5-pack of collectible stress toys that look like crap, by design; and Poo-nicorn Droplings, which not only have the best name but combine the other two products. They’re a collectible 5-pack of small plushies, each of which comes in a Hatchimals-esque egg, although it’s unclear why.

Either way, the good news is that they don’t cost much ⏤ from $3 for the Squishiez, to $10 for the 14-inch Plushiez. Which means that parents won’t get fleeced when these adorable piles of cartoon excrement somehow capture the imaginations of kids the world over.

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