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I Tried Amazon’s Insane Voice-Controlled Massage Chair and It’s Bananas

Your wish is its command.

Short of keeping a massage therapist on call, a human touch massage chair is the best way to make sure that you have access to a relaxing rubdown whenever you need it. Which, if you’re a working parent, is probably pretty damn often. It’s time you meet the latest advent in massage therapy, a voice-controlled model that might just be the best massage chair around.

It’s the Human Touch Super Novo comes, a brand-new premium massage chair that comes packed with high-tech bells and whistles that help its massages more closely resemble a rubdown from a real masseuse.

The Super Novo is more of an enveloping pod than a chair. It has an oversized headrest, arm massagers that touch the top and bottom of your upper extremities, and massaging cushions that surround your bottom half from thigh to toes. The whole thing reclines to your preferred angle with the touch of a button. Let me take you through the experience of actually being rubbed and kneaded by this massage chair.

It works the kinks out of your calves, because you insert them into these openings that resemble padded leg braces. Same with your arms. You lay back, and let it work its magic on you. And magical it is. You can choose any intensity level you can think of. I opted for Shiatsu, and let me assure you, if I had 12 car payments to spare, I would buy this chair. I emerged from it feeling like I was exiting a deluxe spa-like cocoon.

Speaking of buttons, the chair’s many functions can be managed with a control panel located conveniently at your fingertips. But the control panel is actually just the second-easiest way to adjust its settings.

The Super Novo is the first massage chair that you can control with an Alexa speaker. That means that just as you’d ask a professional massage therapist to focus on a certain area or give you a certain kind of massage (i.e. workout recovery, short and vigorous) you can ask the Virtual Therapist, as Human Touch calls this feature, to do the same thing and the chair settings will adjust accordingly.

The massage features include S- and L-track systems that cover 60 percent more back than traditional chairs, under-foot rollers optimized to hit reflexology points, dual-lumbar heating elements, and strategically placed air cells that pressure healing points and help to stretch muscles.

4D massage programs that vary the speed of the massage in addition to direction and depth for a more therapist-like massage experience. You can also connect your phone to the Altec-Lansing Bluetooth speakers or use the built-in nature sounds to add an aural dimension to your experience.

All these features don’t come cheap. The Super Novo, which launched exclusively for Prime members on Amazon Prime Day, is available in your choice of five colors for $9,999. That’s a lot for a chair, even when that chair does come with all of these extras. Still, if you’re got some cash to play with, you could invest in many things that won’t be as useful or quality of life-improving as this premium chair.

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