Did Toyota Just Build The World’s First Badass Minivan?
Whatever you're driving just got a little lamer.
Most guys are aware of the “Phil Dunphy Rule” of automotive physics, which states that no form of minivan can be badass. Fewer guys are aware of the “Batman Corollary,” which states that if Batman drove a minivan, it would be badass. This was all just theoretical science until last week, when images leaked of Toyota’s new Sienna UUV (Ultimate Utility Vehicle), and two things were immediately obvious. First, that … thing … has Sienna minivan blood. Second, whoever does Batman’s aftermarket work was clearly the last one to touch it.
The Sienna UUV features the body and cabin of the soccer mom-approved Sienna, but it’s lifted (waaaaay lifted) onto the ladder frame of Toyota’s venerable Tacoma pickup. Since it’s not technically debuting until the 2015 Speciality Equipment Market Association show in November, the spec are unknown. But even the stock Sienna engine kicks 266-hp out of a 3.5-liter V6 mated to all 4 wheels via a 6-speed manual transmission, which vaults that kid-hauler to 60 mph in less than 8 seconds. As for the visible exterior additions, the Sienna UUV looks built to bring kids to the game, then drive straight onto the field in order to crush the goals and carve the family crest into the midfield circle:
• Front-mounted Warn winch
• Massive Nitto M/T off-road tires with accompanying fender flares • Engage Offroad suspension • Off-road LED light bar • A matte black paint job that provides the perfect canvas for the blood of your enemies
The Sienna UUV is currently engaged in a 16,500-mile trek across North America, on which it will traverse places like Death Valley and the mountains of Alaska. While this will clearly determine if the vehicle is a sweet off-road machine, it remains unclear if there are any screaming kids in the back, or if Batman is driving. Therefore, it technically remains unclear if this is, in fact, the world’s first cool minivan. Either way, it’s a whole lot cooler than this Sienna UUV
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