The Best Gifts for Extraordinarily Vain Fathers

Loving a child doesn't mean he stops loving himself.

by Kevin Raub

There’s no cure for a hardened case of vanity quite like seeing a freshly born human for the first time in the delivery room. It just zaps those 30-minute mirror selfie sessions from one’s life in a flash, right?

No. No, it does not. Becoming a father does not suddenly make one modest. And why should it? Why should a childcare bill that rivals a down payment on a midrange BMW keep a nouveau dad from his organic moisturizer habit ($35 for 50ml, with Japanese ocean botanicals)? It takes a lot more than spit-up and sippy cups to put a cramp in dedicated narcissism. Baby’s gotta eat, sure, but vanity’s instinct to thrive is just as strong. Extraordinarily vain fathers who already have everything also have needs. And so, with the holidays upon us, it’s high time we consider them. And by them, I mean us. Behold: A shopping list that pairs perfectly with self-loving fatherhood.

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