If you’re the parent of a young child, chances are you’ve fielded a lot of tricky questions over the years, from who has what genitalia to why pubic hair is a thing. And if you and your partner happen to enjoy using sex toys, chances are they’ve stumbled upon a toy or two, at least once, and have asked about that, too.
You may want to be a sex-positive parent, normalizing open discussions around sexuality, but we get that sometimes it just feels like too much, too soon. Fortunately, many of the new generation of sex toys barely even look like toys — perfect for when you want to put off awkward conversations with your 4-year-old for a future date. These discreet sex toys make it easy to keep them around, which you should.
Sex toys, while not necessary for an enjoyable sex life, can enhance the pleasure you and your partner already experience together. Whether used as a tool for turning up the heat or providing additional stimulation during sex, toys can be a huge boost to your sex play. And there are so many to choose from: Even those that aren’t labeled as couple toys can be used in partner play. We’ve found eight of the best discreet sex toys for couples that will get the job (or several) done while not getting you entangled in an awkward conversation with your curious kid.
This USB-powered vibrator is shaped like a baby carrot and, similarly, fits right in the palm of your hand. It's simple to use, with just a single button that allows you to cycle through three speeds of vibration, and because it's water-resistant, made of silicone, and petite, it's ideal for shower play. And this tiny toy doesn't have to be constrained to the clitoris. Use it to seek out other erogenous zones, including the nipples, the neck, and the inner thighs. Considering how sleek this vibe is, that $45 price point makes it a steal.
A classic in the world of couple toys, We-Vibe has an entire line of similar styles that are meant to be worn during penetrative sex, allowing for additional stimulation on both the clitoris and the G-spot. What sets the Chorus apart from the others, though, are its additional vibration modes, its level of vibrational intensity, and everything you can do with the accompanying We-Connect app, which allows you to control the Chorus from anywhere. You can also create custom vibrations and even hook it up to your device of choice so that it vibes in time to your sexy-times playlist. It's the Swiss army knife of vibrators.
Crave is such a master of creating discreet sex toys, from their Wink+ — which looks just like a tube of lip gloss — to their various Duet vibrators, which look like elegant thumb drives. But the Vesper's especially fun because it doubles as a necklace, allowing your partner to wear their vibrator in plain sight. Cheeky! It comes on a stainless-steel chain and you can choose a silver, gold, or rose gold finish. You can also get it personalized, perhaps making it the perfect stocking stuffer? This is a particularly good option for vibrator noobs who aren't yet ready for a more intense vibration.
There are a lot of egg-shaped vibes on the market, but this one caught our eye because it's pretty enough to leave out on the nightstand. Shaped like a rosebud, this clitoral sucking vibrator is adorable AF. You would never suspect that it's intended to mimic the glories of oral sex. This rose has seven different sucking frequencies —but don't worry that it will supplant you in the bedroom. Use this to provide your partner with extra stimulation during intercourse. She'll be amazed by your multitasking capabilities.
This couple vibrator doesn't look like any other vibrator out there. In fact, it doesn't look like a vibrator at all — more like a little ladybug. It was designed following complaints that other couple vibes were too much trouble to keep in place during coitus. The Eva's 'wings' are designed to be tucked under the labia, out of the way so that you are you partner can focus on other things. This vibe has three speeds.
Ergonomically designed to fit in the palm of your hand, this waterproof, rechargeable vibrator has eight stimulation patterns and boasts whisper-quiet vibration. The black-and-gold color scheme make it look particular chic—perhaps even glam enough to sit out on your nightstand.
The very model of discretion, the iroha stick looks exactly like a tube of lipstick. But instead of a waxy lip tiny under its plastic cap, the 'lipstick' is a soft silicone tip that vibrates when you twist the base. It's also pocket-sized, waterproof, and requires only one AAA battery. One caveat: There is no single-press way to cycle between vibratory intensities. Rather, the base of the tube serves as a dial to raise or lower the strength of the vibration. Still, at only $20, this may be the undercover sex toy you've been looking for.
Finally, when you're basking in the afterglow of mutual pleasure—or maybe when you're still setting the mood—we recommend JIMMYJANE's Afterglow Massage Oil Candle. It looks just like a chic piece of home décor. Who would suspect it was a tool for intimacy? The soybean wax on this candle is formulated to melt at your body temperature, so not only does it smell divine (it comes in scents of vanilla sandalwood, berry bliss, and mystic mango), but it feels divine, too, as it's drizzled over bare skin. You might not be able to get to a spa these days but, with these candles, you can have a sexy staycation.
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