10 Awesome Toboggans, Saucers, And Sleds, Plus A Damned Snow Batmobile

You don’t hit the links with one club in your bag, so why make your kids hit the hill with just one sled? These 10 snow whips provide for all manner of riding styles, from tandem cruising to Christmas Vacation inspiration. Except with this equipment, unlike your golf clubs, the odds of you using them actually increase with kids around.

The Heirloom

Molson Runner Alpine Classic

Molson’s Classic combines the timeless wooden styling of a traditional flyer with aerospace-grade aluminum runners to carve up all types of snow. One-inch diameter side tubes are the perfect size for little hands to grip tight when the run starts getting real, or mounting a GoPro to capture their reaction in the same scenario. The definition of an “heirloom sled:” you won’t hand it down to your kid until you’re done bombing hills yourself.Molson Runner Alpine Classic Sled ($429)

The Full Body Workout

Zipfy Junior

Fortunately (or not, if you’re hoping your kid will take up an interest in life-endangering Olympic sports), Zipfy isn’t technically a luge — it’s operated from a seated position. It also has googly eye decals, which most Olympic sleds sadly lack. Still, it’s luge-esque enough; it’s steered using body weight and you can make it stop with your feet. That actually makes it sound more Flintstone-esque. Whatever, lookit those kiddos fly!Zipfy Junior Snow Sled ($29)

The Tank

Sonic Snow Tube

The Humvee of the hill, this snow tube was originally designed for commercial use, meaning you can jump on with confidence that can handle all manner of tube-tearing ground effects and your own post-post-adolescent, dadbod physique. That’s key, because the inner circle is a touch large for small kids but perfect for father-kid tandem descents.L.L. Bean Sonic Snow Tube ($109)

The Trick Machine

STIGA Snowracer FSR GT

Many sleds can race down a hill, but only one can call itself a snowracer. Literally, STIGA owns the trademark. Your kid will look X Games-ready atop this bad boy, especially considering it’s capable of this. (Might want to invest in a decent helmet while you’re at it.) They’ll also likely learn the a valuable lesson: just because you’re gripping a steering wheel doesn’t mean you’re going to avoid that tree.STIGA Snowracer FSR GT ($205)

The Family Truckster

Mountain Boy Sledworks Mountain Boggan

This classic wooden toboggan will give your kids an appreciation for the good old days, when men were men and sleds went really fast in a straight line. And when they’re done, you can give the same history lesson to your brother’s kids, and that weird neighbor kid, and good lord this thing is huge. EVERYBODY ON THE BUS!Mountain Boy Sledworks Mountain Boggan 8′ ($350)

The Early Adopter

TSL Toddler Sled

For those who want to get their kids pointed downhill from the earliest possible age, the TSL’s 3-point harness ensures that little people can get bounced around a sled without getting bounced out of it. Fair warning: this (relative) safety measure has not been proven to calm furious mothers. That requires a whole different kind of harness.TSL Sleds Kid’s Pull Sled ($33)

The Cheapskate

Paricon Flying Saucer

Everyone loves the freewheeling anarchy of trashcan lid-style sledding, and for 11 bucks the only excuse to not pick up one of these would be because you’re cheap. For 33 bucks, the only excuse to not pick up the 3-pack would be because you’re cheap and foolish enough to believe your kid doesn’t have the same magnetic attraction to rocks and trees as every other critter on the sled hill.Paricon Flying Saucer Sled, 3-Pack ($33)

The Scooter

Railz Snow Scooter

Straight up, this thing looks like it has zero handling capability whatsoever — and therein lies its genius. Kids live to fling their bodies through the snow with reckless abandon, and their love for you immediately increases proportionally to the dangerousness of any gift you give them. They’ll also appreciate the fact that you can’t steal one of their toys for once; the collapsible aluminum frame only supports up to 140 pounds.Railz Snow Scooter ($70)

The F1 Racer

Firun Sport Edition

Built on top of what are basically World Cup slalom skis, the Firun has actual sidecut that engage actual edges, which can carve actual turns. That’s if you want to turn; there are also steel “talons” on the back that are the sled equivalent of disc brakes, so going fast is no problem. And the Firun goes very, very fast. Because if there’s one thing the Swiss know, it’s flying down ice very, very fast.Firun Sport Edition ($1,299)

The Batmobile

Snolo Stealth-X

A carbon fiber chassis mounted to aluminum runners, the Stealth X is patently ridiculous and, at $3,200, a ludicrous purchase no responsible man would make … unless that man also happened to be a caped crusader for justice who frequently found himself chasing evildoers down ski slopes. In that case, this is the sled you need right now, and the one you deserve.Snolo Stealth-X ($3,200)