10 Really Awful Things About Having A Baby (And One Really Great Thing)

"It’s like an invading army taking over your home."

by James Altucher
Originally Published: 
A small baby crying
Flickr / Nate Grigg

The following was syndicated from Quora for the Fatherly Forum, a community of parents and influencers with insights about work, family, and life. If you’d like to join the Forum, drop us a line at TheForum@Fatherly.com.

What is it that nobody tells you about having children?

Having children is awful. There are benefits that we all know about. But let’s stick with awful for a second.

1. A one-foot-tall US citizen suddenly moves into your house and you are forced to deal with it. It’s like an invading army taking over your home.

2. This new roommate doesn’t speak English and yet demands you understand it 24 hours a day.

Flickr / Critical Moss

3. This new roommate you are forced to tolerate cries all the time. Deal with it.

4. You are required to love this person despite the fact that they shit on the floor or shit in their pants — and expect you to clean it.

5. You are expected to feed your new roommate because they have less motor control then someone with no arms and no legs.

You have no idea if this one-foot-tall person will turn into someone you like or hate when they are 5 feet tall.

6. Twenty-four hours a day, 7 days a week, you are required to make sure this one-foot-tall human doesn’t kill themselves by mistake. If they do, you might go to jail.

7. You have to touch their dirty genitals when you clean them. Oh yeah, you have to clean them. A lot.

8. At night (if you are a man), they climb in bed with the love of your life and suck on their breasts. If they were a normal roommate you might kick them out of your house at that point. But now it’s against the law to do that.


Picasa 2.0

9. You and your spouse have gone from being lovers to being “parents.” It’s the best thing in the world to be a lover. It’s so much fun that we spend almost every moment thinking and dreaming about loving. It’s not as fun to be a parent.

10. You have no idea if this one-foot-tall person will turn into someone you like or hate when they are 5 feet tall. It’s sort of random although you hope for the best.

I have 2 daughters. They are the best part of my life.

James Altucher also wrote about The Ultimate Cheat Sheet for Mastery. He is an entrepreneur, investor, and best-selling author of Choose Yourself and Choose Yourself Guide To Wealth. To read more, visit JamesAltucher.com. Read more from Quora below:

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