Parents may think of themselves as emotionally mature adults and that may be true most of the time, but everyone has breaking points and most mothers and fathers rapidly find theirs. Blowing up is a normal human reaction to stressful circumstances and being a parent is, to put it mildly, a stressful circumstance. However understandable that may be, issues arise when anger gets becomes overwhelming or constant. Is anger management the solution? How does anger management for kids work? Is there anything wrong with going to anger management therapy or buying anger management books? These questions have answers and, yes, parents need to know what they are.

Fatherly built this guide to dealing with anger because no parent wants to feel like a walking pressure-cooker of frustration. We talked to therapists about restoring the peace after an outburst and what happens in kids’ brains when dad yells. Plus, we solicited real advice from parents who’ve mastered the art of calm. Just take a deep breath.