Birthday Dads

10 Perfect Ted Lasso Quotes To Celebrate Jason Sudeikis' 47th Birthday

Sudeikis is more than Ted Lasso. But the wit and wisdom of his greatest creation are still what the world needs right now. To celebrate Jason Sudeikis turning 47, here are ten perfect Lasso-isms.

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"We're gonna call this drill 'The Exorcist'... 'cause it's all about controlling possession."

Ted tends to drop a lot of pop-culture references when coaching the boys on AFC Richmond, and this is one of the few anyone around him might actually understand.

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“You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory.”

A typical Ted bit of advice: short, sweet, warm, humorous, and... on the mark.

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“When it comes to locker rooms, I like 'em just like my mother's bathing suits. I only wanna see 'em in one piece, you hear?”

Sometimes Ted gets personal... too personal.

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“Our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson... on a high!”

Many of Ted's jokes are of the accidental variety, slip-ups, or nonsequiturs, but some, like this one, he's straight-up shooting for a laugh.

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“I think I literally have a better understanding of who killed Kennedy than what is offside... It was the mob.”

Ted delivers two jokes for the price of one here; we can all relate to not understanding what offside is and, yeah, the mob probably killed Kennedy.

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“You are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51.”

Can't help but wonder if birthday boy Jason ad-libbed this joke wrapped in a joke. No way any Brits got it, and we're guessing that 9 out of 10 Americans had to look up Sue Grafton.

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“Takin’ on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn't it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doin’ it, you’re probably doin’ it wrong.”

Ted is a man of folksy metaphors, and this one is as witty as it is informative.

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“Fries are called chips. Chips are called crisps. And bangers aren’t great songs, but they do make you feel like dancing because they’re so darn tasty.”

Ted is learning the ins and outs of life in England and passing on essential information as only he can.

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“If the Internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously.”

Funny, true, and tragic.

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“Boy, I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.”

Hysterical... and accurate!

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