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10 Kites That Will Distract Your Kid For Hours While You Actually Relax At The Beach

“Go fly a kite” — it’s not just a Mary Poppins show tune or a sanitized way for you and your wife to yell at each other around the kids, but an activity your kid just might actually request. Provided you outfit them with one of these 10 kites, you’ll have them practicing climbs, loops, and barrel rolls for hours of good old fashioned fresh air fun (as opposed to paper airplanes, which you can control with your phone nowadays).

Prism Stowaway Delta Kitefatherly_prism_stowaway_delta_kiteAs traditional, single-line kites go, the Stowaway Delta is top of the line — easy to assemble and a piece of cake to get airborne and fly, it’s sturdy and responsive enough to do the sort of tricks your kid will want to learn before graduating to the fancy-pants, multiple line kites below.
Prism Stowaway Delta Kite ($40)

Into The Wind + Kymera Stunt Kitefatherly_kymera_stunt_kiteDesigned by John Barresi, a top-ranked flier in multiple disciplines who swears your kid can be one too, the Kymera is a dual line kite — that’s 2 strings for all you non-champion kite fliers — designed to pull off hairpin turns and crazy tricks you didn’t know existed (much like kite flying rankings or multiple disciplines). Barresi says flying one can be as hair-raising as flying an airplane on account of the whole dive-bombing thing, so you might want to save this for when your kid’s a little older.
Into The Wind + Kymera Stunt Kite ($225)

B-Series RevolutionSeries-B RevolutionSimilar to the Kymera but a quad line (go on, you can figure it out), so you look even more badass for just being able to get it up in the air. Once you do, though, Barresi says you can maneuver it with precision and extreme stability.
B-Series Revolution ($350)

Kengel Octopus Kitefatherly_kengel_octopus_kiteThis kite is wide enough for tiny flyers to handle, and the 160″ tentacles add stability. Your fellow beach-goers will appreciate spying the Kraken flying overhead, rather than encountering one in the water.
Kengel Octopus Kite ($19)

Premier Kites Sharkfatherly_premier_kites_shark_kiteSame goes for a 7-foot shark. This one comes ready to fly in 6-18 MPH winds and means you never have to wait for the next Sharknado movie ever again.
Premier Kites Shark ($28)

Sailing Ship Kitefatherly_moma_sailing_ship_kiteYou might be afraid to let your kid take this handsome vessel off their bedroom shelf, but yes, it actually flies. Watch them pilot their Jolly Roger through the clouds and be glad they could experience Peter Pan’s Flight without a full-on trip to Disneyland.
Sailing Ship Kite ($40)

Premier Kites Cowfatherly_premier_kites_cow_kitePlaying with this easy-flying, 5-pointed kite will result in way too many “The cow jumped over the moon jokes.” When your kid gets tired of those, you can still entertain yourself by imagining Ralph Wiggum flying it on the quad at Bovine University.
Premier Kites Cow ($30)

Wind n Sun SkyPals Minion Kitefatherly_wind_n_sun_skypals_minion_kiteThere’s just no avoiding the Minion takeover. Even the skies are no longer safe.
Wind n Sun SkyPals Minion Kite ($19)

X-Kites 3D Dragonfatherly_x_kites_3d_dragonSweet dragon, George R.R. Martin. You know what your kid will love? Tell them you bought this kite, talk about it how awesome it is for a few years, let them fly it once, then lock it in the cellar. “Sure, we can fly it again. Maybe. Talk to me in, like, 4 years.”
X-Kites 3D Dragon ($35)

4M Design Your Own Kite Kitfatherly_4m_design_your_own_kite_kitWhen none of these kites are cool enough for your kid, hand them a blank slate. In addition to creating their own design with the included paints and brush, they’ll learn to build something with their hands. There’s hope for the future yet.
4M Design Your Own Kite Kit ($13)

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