Doctors taught us many terms, but our son taught us the important ones.

I used to feel stressed out about how much I was messing up, but then I realized that embracing it was pure parenting magic.

Imagine a very loud party where you don't speak the language and your clothes are itchy.

I'm investing a lot in these kids. A little payback doesn't seem unreasonable.

These were the guys I had to learn from: the old guy with the horrible jokes and bad polyester suits, and the guy who dropped my brother on his head during a game of "Pass-the-Baby." I was doomed.

You're going to have to work hard, lose games, and move out of the house (eventually). But I'm also going to be proud of you, no matter what.