Brett Ortler


5 Reasons Raising A Pet Is Nothing Like Raising Children

It's not like Lassie ever struggled with body image issues.


My Gross Kids Just Introduced Me To Diseases I’d Never Even Heard Of

Are you down with the sickness?


9 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Took My Kid To The Playground For The First Time

Number 2: Never look anyone in the eye.


8 Ways Dealing With a Toddler Is Like Negotiating With a Hostage-Taker

When negotiations go south, they do so in a hurry


Your Sex Life Gets Complicated And 7 Other Things I Wish I Knew Before Having A Second Kid

To be fair, he should have expected that one.


Putting Toddlers To Sleep Is The Best And Worst Part Of The Day

Never heard of a capybara? Neither had he.


Why I Love My Wife’s Postpartum Body

My wife's body has changed because of pregnancy, but so what? Changes be damned, she's the same smokin' spitfire redhead she's always been.