Kids cartoons are, to paint with a broad brush, weird because kids are weird and they like weird stuff. But no one outweirds the internet. Want proof, watch your kids favorite show on YouTube and don’t be surprised if the plot takes a turn for the terrifying. The world’s most trafficked video platform is now rife with extremely NSFW versions of children’s programming. Fans of Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig, and Doc McStuffins likely know this already. The low-quality, high-violence versions of those shows have gone viral. In some cases, this seems to be the result of ill-informed clicks. In others, it seems to be a tribute to the gonzo peculiarity of the final product.
The rip-offs are offensive and gross. Some are also fucking hilarious.
The best of the bunch — the real standouts — have a sort of Twin Peaks appeal. They take the surreality of kid’s shows and weaponizing against the audience, subverting expectations by swapping in nihilism for whimsy. The result? Shows perfectly designed to make children cry and adults (well, a certain subtype of adult) laugh their ass off.
Here are the most disturbing versions of kids kid’s show ripoffs on YouTube. Do not show them to your children.
Peppa Pig is Extremely Scottish and Incredibly Crass
Peppa Pig, a character that resembles a crude genital drawing to begin with, goes full Trainspotting in this instant classic. The entire Pig family, transformed into foul-mouthed Scotsmen, have some pretty real conversations. The video lacks the gore of some of the other videos on the list, but it more than makes up for it by sounding like a gritty, modern Braveheart reboot directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Doc McStuffins Will Eat Your brains
The strangest thing about a lot of these videos is that they play out like shitty episodes of the show they are parodying. But there’s always at least one moment in which stuff gets really twisted. Here’s a great example with Doc McStuffins: Dottie and Donny McStuffins are going about their normal lives when they are suddenly transformed into brain-hungry zombies bent on eating their mother. They are then turned back into their normal selves and act like the whole thing never happened.
Why would anyone make this? Some questions are best left unanswered.
My Little Pony Becomes a Haunting Combination of Chucky and It
The internet lost its collective mind over the trailer for the It remake, but little did the world know that It has already been brought back to life in spirit in the most disturbing (and completely fake) My Little Pony episode of all time. In the video, one of the characters has a clown doll that somehow comes to life and proceeds to hurt all the poor innocent Ponies who dare to cross its path. There’s also some light police brutality, because why the hell not?
Paw Patrol Becomes a Blood Bath
Remember “Happy Tree Friends“? The YouTube series of animals getting killed in Final Destination-like ways was oddly addicting, and it looks like someone took a page out of that book with this not-safe-for-anywhere version of Paw Patrol. There are tons of these videos, but in this particular one an adorable Dalmatian throws a javelin into its own foot then beats the shit out of another dog for 16 minutes.
Minnie Mouse Jr. Goes Full Tyson
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are the most iconic fictional couple in history, but if YouTube is to be believed, their kids are complete psychopaths. In the video, Mickey is enjoying a nice nap when suddenly his little daughter grabs a pair of scissors and cuts his goddam ear off. Mickey is rightly horrified, but all seems forgotten once his ear is sewn back on. Watch your back, Mickey, you never know when your tiny mouse daughter will strike again.